Leapin’ Lin-Sanity, ad men!
Published 11:48 am Saturday, February 25, 2012
Every four years we experience a leap year, or “intercalary” or “bissextile” year. Is that where we get the lyric, “10 lords-a-bissextiling” in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” carol? Let’s leap before we look at the headlines:
•”Report: Nike poised to cash in on Lin”: Ah, despite the leap year, our world as we know it reassuringly continues to spin.
”Lin gets own ice cream flavor”: Ben &Jerry’s actually beat Nike to the punch to make money off Jeremy Lin, uncreatively calling the ice cream “Lin-Sanity.”
The recipe at first included pieces of fortune cookie, which was quickly suggested to be offensive, and was quickly removed. Is it time for the ice cream makers to come up with an “Foot in Mouth” flavor?
•”Foot Locker halts events after riot over Nike sneaker”: Ah, a Nike tradition. The economy must be back.
”Does Nike’s Phil Knight belong in the hoops Hall of Fame?”: Turns out the question is moot. He already has been directly elected to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, as selected by the Contributors Committee. Yikes. Perhaps he belongs in the Retailers Hall of Fame, or the Money Really Does Talk Hall of Fame.
”Man charged after cooking own meal at Denny’s”: The Wisconsin man walked into a Madison Denny’s, announced he was the new boss, and fixed himself a burger, fries and a soda before police arrived. Asked if he was really a cook, the man replied, “No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.”
”9 tourist couples marry naked in Jamaica”: A lovely tradition, even if some find it difficult to think beyond “something blue.”
”Has casual attire gone too far?”: Only if you forget to change from your at-home, feety, kicking-around pajamas into your work pajamas before heading out the door.
”Airlines hike fares for third time in 2012”: Considering that it’s not yet the end of February, if the airlines continue at this rate, how many times will they have raised fares by the end of December? At what point will ever-growing fees cause travelers to tell airlines to go take a flying bissextile? Show your work.
”Why horses shrank to the size of housecats”: They saw how cozy a life in the barn looked compared to plowing the fields?
”Will American consumers regain their mojo?”: Things must be even worse than we thought if the conservative Wall Street Journal is counting on consumers regaining their “magical spell” to perk up the economy.
”To tailor burgers to France, McDonald’s enlists baguettes”: It comes with “French” fries and a super-sized McBurgundy.
