Celebrating a whole new epoch

Published 11:34 pm Saturday, January 3, 2009

Guess what? Not only is it a new year, it’s a new epoch, or so scientists from the Geological Society of London have decided. If only we’d known, we’d have made more impressive resolutions than remembering to dust on a quarterly basis.

Does turning pages count as exercise? If you’ve resolved to get in shape for the new epoch, one of three fitness books may help.

A fourth option: “War and Peace.” It may not provide advice about diet and exercise, but lugging Tolstoy’s tome around for the length of time it will take to read it is sure to burn off a few pounds.

If you’ve ever proclaimed hatred for weeds, you should avoid Switzerland, lest you someday end up on trial for defaming a dandelion. A federal panel has declared that plants are entitled to respect and it’s morally wrong to kill them unnecessarily. However, the declaration is probably popular among Swiss children, who now have government backing in their effort to avoid eating their vegetables.

According to Starwatch, the name of Betelgeuse, a star in the constellation Orion, loosely translates to “armpit of the great one,” more or less guaranteeing Betelgeuse will never be a center of intergalactic tourism.