Dum dum dum dum-da-dum, dum-da-dum
Published 11:48 pm Sunday, September 7, 2008
Cue the Death Star theme music Scientists will start up a colossal atom-smasher Wednesday, which makes some people mighty nervous. Just in case the machine really does spell doom for us Earthlings, here are a few ways you could spend the month left before the actual smashing starts:
Take up koi cultivation. More than 2,000 people attended a weekend show devoted to the fish. Owners say they find koi peaceful and soothing to watch, making this a perfect hobby to distract you from the idea that black holes might swallow the planet soon.
Give a tortoise a lift. A tortoise in Eastern Washington needs a ride to an adoptive family in California before the weather gets too cold. Sadie ought to be an easy passenger. Since you’ll have to travel at the pace of Spokane traffic, Portland traffic and California traffic, you’ll be going just her speed most of the way.
Imagine what would happen if an alien cloned Stephen Colbert. His DNA will be sent to the space station as part of a time capsule. Millennia from now, a new Stephen Colbert might stand up in his crib, look up at alien scientists and utter his first words: “You’re on notice.”
