A trade-in worth considering

Published 11:16 pm Monday, June 16, 2008

Segway segue: This is how desperate Americans are, now that gas is well above $4 a gallon: They’re riding Segways to work. If you’re wondering: Kelly Blue Book says the trade-in value for your 2006 Hummer2 is about $30,000. That’ll get you six Segways with enough left over to splurge on the handlebar bag.

Shocked! Shocked, I tell you: We stuffed today’s Herald with stories we bet you weren’t expecting: Al Gore endorsing Barack Obama; the Mariners firing Bill Bavasi; and doctors reporting that eating too much red meat is a cancer risk.

Tomorrow’s headlines we bet you’re really not expecting: Obama picking Bavasi as his running mate; the Mariners hiring Gore as GM; and doctors reporting that smoking cigarettes made of red meat prevents cancer.

Monkey love: Researchers in England say chimpanzees can soothe each other’s stress with a hug or a kiss to the top of the head, much as humans do. While you might be tempted to rush out and get yourself a chimp to provide a reassuring peck, remember that their other method for dealing with stress is to fling poo.