If you see the Payday Loan Sauna, you’ve gone too far

Published 10:50 pm Monday, March 31, 2008

Wall Street has been bad, so here comes its punishment. The Bush administration unveiled a 218-page plan to overhaul the financial system.

The plan was released Monday in the Treasury Department’s ornate Cash Room, which is a few doors down the hall from its Credit-Card Debt Torture Chamber.

We would tell you the details of the plan, but it’s 218 pages of inscrutable economics-speak. Our best guess: They want to lull everyone to sleep, then raid the Cash Room.

Americans polled named Iran our nation’s top enemy, with Iraq coming in second and China third. China needn’t be disappointed. It’s still our No. 1 frenemy.

Among the other nations featured on America’s MySpace page, Great Britain is our BFF; Mexico is our friend with benefits; and Iraq is our worst breakup ever.

A woman was arrested outside John Cusack’s house, suspected of stalking.

The woman should’ve known better. A sign on the actor’s property clearly states, “Persons who stand outside Mr. Cusack’s window, hold up boom boxes and play ‘In Your Eyes’ will be prosecuted.”