When a sex therapist is standing there with a stopwatch

Published 11:36 pm Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Bonzer barbie, Bruce: Australian officials, hoping to rid the Land Down Under of the nonnative and destructive poisonous cane toad are asking Australians to hunt and kill the amphibians. The Aussie version of the Humane Society says that’s fine by them as long as the toads are euthanized humanely in the freezer.

Once frozen, the toads can then be tossed on the barbie. Ask any Australian: Anything can be made palatable if it’s washed down with a can of Foster’s.

Teen-B-Gone: A British inventor has hit on a way to clear malls of loitering teens; it’s a device that generates a high-pitched irritating whine that only those younger than 30 can hear.

The device works on the theory that those who have had children build a tolerance to high-pitched irritating whines.

On your mark, get set, go: A survey of sex therapists says that for most couples good sex, not including foreplay, lasts anywhere between three and 13 minutes, with the median time being about 7 minutes, 20 seconds.

The Buzz, however, doubts the findings because we’ve always found it difficult to perform when a sex therapist is standing there with a stopwatch.

—Jon Bauer, Herald Staff