Dancing with Fidel

Published 11:49 pm Tuesday, February 19, 2008

But how’s his paso doble? Having outlasted nine U.S. presidents and six seasons of “CSI: Miami,” Fidel Castro stepped down Tuesday as el presidente of Cuba.

Speculation as to the reason for his abdication includes his declining health and advancing age. But sources close to El Jefe Maximo confirm that Castro, who is known for his mambo dancing skills, wants to devote all his energy to competing in the coming season of ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars.”

Have mercy; no more Taylor Hicks: Fans of Fox’s “American Idol” will be able to download performances by this season’s semifinalists on Apple’s iTunes online store.

The news met with approval from CIA headquarters in Langley, Va., which quickly started downloading warbled versions of “Since U Been Gone” to be used in place of waterboarding.

That’s some expensive skeet: The Pentagon hopes to shoot down a failed spy satellite this morning, using a missile from a Navy cruiser. Adapting the anti-missile system to the task has an estimated cost of $30 million to $40 million.

Wouldn’t Dick Cheney and his shotgun have been cheaper?