Buzz in Toyland

Published 11:32 pm Tuesday, November 20, 2007

You better watch out: Thirty-four shopping days until Christmas, and you can still find dangerous lead-laden toys on store shelves.

The Buzz laments the days of his youth, when toys were dangerous but recalls were for Corvairs. Herewith, the Buzz’s Toy Gift Guide and Legal Liability Disclaimer:

Yard darts: These metal-tipped projectiles were launched across lawns toward a hoop target but often went off course and through the bathroom window, scaring your mom and getting you grounded.

Chemistry sets: Junior scientists would ignore the directions and combine random chemicals hoping for a small explosion or at least a mild frothing. The resulting mix usually was dumped somewhere in the back yard, leading to the yard’s later classification as an EPA Superfund site.

Hot Wheels: The danger, and thus the real fun, wasn’t in the die-cast cars but in the sections of plastic orange track that could be used in sibling sword fights. En garde, mon frere!

Creepy Crawlers: Hotter than an Easy Bake Oven, a 300-degree hot plate was used to melt plastic goop that was then poured into — what else? — lead molds. You could then double-dare your brother to eat one.

— Jon Bauer, Herald writer