Tough child? Learn to cope

Published 9:00 pm Monday, August 14, 2006

All children have their tough days, but if there’s a pattern of being difficult, what steps should a parent or other adult take?

Howard Glasser, author of “Transforming the Difficult Child,” a book on attention deficit disorder, will discuss that topic during an all-day seminar in Coupeville on Aug. 28.

The event is open to the public. Its sponsors include Compass Health, the Island County Health Department, and the South Whidbey School District. There’s a $100 fee; a limited number of scholarships is available.

Parents, teachers and others who work with children often spend far more time with children when they’re doing something wrong than when they’re doing something right, Glasser said.

“The problem is timing,” Glasser said. Adults most often sit down and talk with kids when there’s a problem.

“Nobody would give a kid a $100 bill when they’re being mean to their brother or their sister,” he said. “But inadvertently, we do that all the time. We’re so much better at seeing what’s wrong.”

His advice: “Catch kids being good.”

Just as much effort needs to be put into complimenting children for being cooperative, for being patient with a sibling or for finding ways to handle their frustrations, he said.

Stan Baxter, director of the Compass Health in Island County, said that the seminar was organized in response to frequent requests from parents for help with the issue of difficult children.

On average, the nonprofit counseling and mental health organization is working with 100 children and their families on Whidbey Island, he said.

“A substantial number are dealing with difficult behavior issues with kids,” he said.

As resources for mental health issues become more limited, “we tend to look upon medication as kind of the easy answer,” Baxter said. “So we’re very interested in trying to develop some other alternatives.”

All kids have their moments, Glasser said.

“What we’re interested in is when it’s beyond our ability to handle the intensity.”

By reinforcing good behaviors, “it’s like watering a plant versus watering a weed,” he said.

Once children learn how to channel their intensity, “they’re exciting to be around,” he said.

Transforming the Difficult Child, a workshop sponsored by Compass Health, is scheduled from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Aug 28 at the Coupeville Recreation Hall, 901 NW Alexander St. in Coupeville.

The $100 registration fee covers the costs of the workshop, lunch and materials.

A limited number of scholarships are available for those with limited incomes.

Registration forms are available on the Compass Health Web site at www.compasshealth.org or by calling Compass Health at 425-349-8415.