Trip abroad opens traveler’s eyes to wide world of European sports
Published 10:10 am Friday, February 22, 2008
As you enjoy your local sports scene, do you ever consider what athletic action lurks in Europe?
I didn’t until my recent post-college trip. During my trek through Ireland, Scotland, England and Holland I discovered the beautiful (soccer), the similar (golf) and the ugly (cricket) of Euro sports. Here’s a breakdown of my observations:
Soccer (or football, as it’s known in Europe) is King.
Visit a pub any given night and you’ll find a legion of locals sipping pints and yelling at the TV as if the players were soaking in the incomprehensible drunken advice.
I learned a lesson as a visiting soccer fan: Unless you’d like a knuckle sandwich, don’t root for English club Manchester United. High-priced stars like David Beckham make United a perennial winner (the New York Yankees of English soccer) and many Europeans’ favorite team to hate. Despite the locals’ jeers, United’s smooth ball control and beatifully-timed passing won me over.
One night in a London pub, after watching United tally an impressive barrage of goals, I made the mistake of cheering for Beckham and the Boys. My smile soon vanished as I spotted a large, bald-headed local glaring at me from the opposite end of the bar.
“What’s that wanker’s problem?” he grunted to an equally imposing bald friend.
I tried to atone for my blunder with a phony “Boo,” and bottled up my cheers in fear of soccer hooligan assault.
Cricket is a crock.
I watched less than 30 minutes of this (poor excuse-for-a-) sport and I want my time back. I could’ve used more brain cells watching Jerry Springer.
My main gripes: cricket players wear dorky ultra-white leisure suits, take tea breaks and a single batter can score 100-plus runs per at bat, yielding final scores like 5 billion to 4.6 billion. Even worse, fans sip champagne.
In one of the most appalling moments in sports history, I watched a “cricketeer” limp off the field after a “gruesome” mid-game injury. No, it wasn’t an ankle sprain. Maybe a separated shoulder? Nope. Not even close (The following fact summarizes my contempt for cricket). The player suffered a bee sting on his butt.
Besides these small flaws, cricket is a beautiful game.
No matter where you are, golf is golf.
I played in Ireland and Scotland. The courses were just as green, narrow and hazardous as in the U.S.
Along the way, I reaffirmed my previous theory: I stink at golf. Now I can proudly say I’ve golfed horribly in not one but three countries — an amazing 300 percent increase!
In conclusion …
I left the U.S. in early September excited to see what Europe had to offer. My trip was filled with fantastic food, great beer, interesting people and sports, sports, sports.
In the end, I was impressed. Sure, soccer and golf are great (canceling out cricket’s big whiff), but something else won me over.
As a guest at an authentic Scottish wedding, I played a variety of traditional Euro sports: squishy-suit sumo wrestling, bouncy castle bashing and human foosball. Wait, is karaoke a sport?
Get over to Europe, sports fans — I had no idea what I was missing.
Mike Cane is a former intern for The Enterprise Newspapers. Questions and comments may be sent via e-mail to entsports@heraldnet.com, by fax to 425-774-8622 or by mail to: Sports editor, The Enterprise, 4303 198th St. SW., Lynnwood, WA 98036.
