Here she comes, lil Bo Tox
Published 12:01 am Monday, May 16, 2011
It was craggy-faced Abraham Lincoln who said, “I laugh because I must not cry. That is all. That is all.” With that in mind, let’s review the headlines:
•”S.F. pageant mom investigated for injecting 8-year-old daughter with Botox“: Mom Kerry Campbell revealed on national TV that she regularly gives the shots to her daughter, among other beauty enhancements, such as leg waxes, USA Today reported. Campbell got the idea from other pageant mothers, calling it “pretty much, like, the thing. I’m not the only one who does it.”
Go ahead and weep. Lincoln could not have foreseen this. Mom said she began the “treatment” — five shots in three locations each time — with Botox bought online, after daughter Britney complained about wrinkles on her face. Gosh, where would an 8-year-old girl get such an idea?
“I just, like, don’t, like, think wrinkles are nice on little girls,” Britney said. The shots hurt, Britney said, but she’s used to the pain.
Thankfully, San Francisco child protective services and the police find this worthy of investigating. “We need to sit down and talk with the mom, talk with the child, and see what’s going on,” said one official. Well, mom and child have detailed what’s going on. And it’s something like “Narcissistic Munchausen by proxy syndrome meets body dysmorphic disorder.”
And if this causes sadness in others, the online Botox industry would like people to know that a few strategic injections can keep those tears from ever falling.
•”Poll: Some still question Obama’s birthplace“: Perhaps it would help to stop posing the question as if it were a matter of opinion.
“After approving NBC buyout, FCC Commish becomes Comcast lobbyist“: Speaking against attempts to impose conditions on the controversial Comcast-NBC merger, Commissioner Meredith Attwell Baker argued that the “complex and significant transaction” could “bring exciting benefits to consumers that outweigh potential harms.”
Spoken like a true lobbyist. Unfortunately, she was still a commissioner. And the “exciting benefits” were for her.
•”Philip Morris CEO: Cigs not that hard to quit“: At its shareholder meeting, international CEO Louis C. Camilleri told a cancer nurse that tobacco “… whilst it is addictive, it is not that hard to quit. … There are more previous smokers in America today than current smokers.”
Meanwhilst, there are also more dead smokers.
•”10 great places for a rural ‘haycation‘”: Are “Bait and Switch” a country singing duo? This isn’t about 10 great places for, ahem, a roll in the hay. It’s about staying at a farm and helping out with the chores. You pay them.
Happy Monday. Go and make hay.
