Idol threats

Published 12:01 am Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Brought to you by Pop-Tarts: “American Idol” returns Wednesday to Fox for its tenth season with two new celebrity judges and several format changes intended to boost its sagging ratings.

Among changes contemplated but ultimately dropped: Former judge Simon Cowell will yell taunts and catcalls from the audience. Former judge Paula Abdul will just yell incoherently from the audience. The final two contestants will sing karaoke while wearing Japanese sumo wrestling attire. Wisecracking old guys singing about “Pants on the Ground” are automatically in the top ten. And four words: Insane Clown Posse Week.

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Feel the burn? Feel this! Among the growing list of smart-phone apps are those related to fitness, including “iPhone apps that lead you through a training program and even prod you on in a robot voice.

Add a feature that measures the force with which you hurl your iPhone across the room in exasperation because some overpriced tin can is demanding five more sit-ups, and we’re sold.

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Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1949, “Charles Ponzi, who developed a spectacular swindle that would later take his name, died destitute in a Brazil hospital.

Ponzi was entombed the next day in a pyramid scheme.