Burke: O Canada!

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, July 29, 2026

“O Canada…

True north, strong and free,”

Are some of the words used by 40 million of our northern neighbors as they sing their national anthem.

But as Trump might sing it, it would go more like:

“Poooor Can a da.

We want to make you ours.

So we’ll tax and tariff all your goods,

And fine you for the smoke;

‘Till you cry ‘Surrender,’ hey,

And folks, that ain’t no joke.”

To which the Canadians could wryly add another verse,

“O fearless blow-dried orange man

You spew such silly stuff,

You rant and rave and carry on

And all you do is bluff.”

So why is Trump so fixated on Canada?

Why is he threatening to add another layer of 50% tariffs (on top of an existing 10% layer) on the most friendly, loyal, steadfast neighbor/ally we have?

Beats me.

Who knows what pathologies lie deep inside his head as he attacks our second-largest trading partner?

Is he trying to gain some negotiating advantage as a new Canada-U.S.-Mexico trade agreement (CUSMA) is being negotiated? (He called the first agreement, when he signed it, “the fairest, most balanced, and beneficial trade agreement we have ever signed;” and now decries it as a terrible thing. (Say what?)

Is he simply suffering from, as Lawrence O’Donnell describes it, “constitutional dementia” as he continues to insist Canada become the 51st state? (And as he continues to posture and threaten to absorb Greenland as a US colony.)

Is it Trumpian retribution for Canadian provinces removing American wine and spirits from their shelves (in reaction to his aggressive attacks), costing American producers half-a-billion-dollars in lost sales?

Is he angry that Canadians prefer European cows (and their milk, cheese, and butter) more than they prefer American cows?

Is he sulking like a 5-year old and striking back at Canada’s virtual “drop dead” to all his baloney.

Or is this part of his campaign to “reinvent” (in his own, warped image) a world economy that’s been well-functioning since the end of WWII? (Last Thursday Trump imposed new tariffs between 10 and 12.5% on 60 of the United States’ top trading partners, such as Australia, New Zealand, and the UK, citing their failures to enforce bans on forced labor. Many of the affected countries categorically deny the allegations and are screaming BS.)

(Gentle reader – just a reminder: neither Canada, nor any other country the President levies tariffs on, pays those tariffs. Foreign manufactures don’t pay them. Other nations’ treasuries don’t pay them. Exporters don’t pay them. We pay them. US importers, hence US consumers, pay them. You pay them. They are simply a tax by another name on everyone who buys anything made anywhere else. And try to reconcile that with what Trump says/thinks tariffs do; you can only conclude he’s either lying [again] or completely ignorant about real world economics.)

Now there seems to be no rhyme or reason to the Canadian products Trump’s attacking.

They include such things as natural honey, feathers, tulip bulbs (dormant), hockey sticks, plywood, sweaters, furniture, circular saw blades, candles, envelopes, hammers, Christmas decorations, synthetic wigs, plastic cups, and 486 other products.

So again I ask, “Why hate Canada?”

One theory posits Trump is still bitter about his Canadian hotel ventures that went bust.

Another says it’s a 2019 photograph of Justin Trudeau appearing ready to kiss Melania Trump (and she ready to kiss him back); or that Trudeau upset Trump’s fragile ego with “disrespectful” comments.

Then it could also be Trump’s appeal to his base or part of Trump’s quest for legacy and desire to be credited with making Canada the 51st state. Or could it be simple greed, acquiring Canada’s natural resources for the benefit of his zillionaire business buddies.

Whatever the reason, anyone with a modestly functioning prefrontal cortex understands his Canada policy, indeed his whole tariff policy, is simply, crap.

Now I just finished reading Maggie Haberman and Jonathon Swan’s new book on Trump, “Regime Change: Inside the Imperial Presidency of Donald Trump.”

Ya gotta read it. Twice, at least. Really.

It describes, in grim detail, everything, that’s every little thing, Trump has done during his terms in office.

And, apparently, it is accurate down to the last Diet Coke and Tootsie Roll he downs as there has been no (absolutely zero) denials by the White House about what they chronicle.

It’s almost overwhelming the damage he’s caused through deliberate, unhinged ignorance, hubris, and ego.

And there’s no apparent rationale for some of his biggest actions except for many, many, many that are pure whim of the moment and “gut,” and others that are motivated by pure, unadulterated, naked greed, avarice, and narcissism.

And if you are not shaking in your sneakers after just a few chapters, alas, methinks you either have no understanding of the genesis of our republic, conception of the Constitution, or the danger of giving such a man the power of a president; or you’re just a dyed-in-the-wool (which is being tariffed if it’s Canadian wool) MAGA and think he was sent by god(?).

The Canadian national anthem concludes with a solemn pledge,

“O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.”

Repeated twice.

Ours ends with a question,

O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

And unless we are brave and resist vigorously, strategically, forcefully, starting by voting Democratic in the November midterms, that flag won’t be waving over the land of the free and Haberman/Swan’s next book could be titled, “Regime Change: The Rise and Fall of American Democracy.”

Tom Burke’s email address is t.burke.column@gmail.com.