Paul Schoenfeld

Integrating our elders into our lives can enrich theirs and ours

Our children closely observe how we respond to our aging parents’ needs. Our choices become their model for how to take care of us when we reach our golden years.


The blended-families challenge requires patience, maturity

Don’t expect miracles — it can be rough going for some time. Get professional help if you need it.


When bad things happen t0 good people

Unfortunately, painful life experiences are inevitable. But they help us develop and mature, and teach us compassion for others.


A personal journal can become your own time machine

Recording your daily thoughts and experiences can help you later see how you’ve developed and changed.

How many choices are too many for children?

Today’s parents have given their kids more power and control than previous generations. But there needs to be firm, consistent limits.

So-called relaxing summer vacations can wear you out

To truly enjoy a family getaway, tone down your expectations. Everything won’t be picture-perfect.

Coming home for the summer: Your college student and you

It can be tough going and conflicts will arise, but don’t worry, parents — they’ll be back in school soon.

Mindfulness is all the rage. But what is it exactly?

Why should we aspire to greater mindfulness? And how do we actually achieve it?

Instead of happiness, why not pursue well-being?

The qualities of well-being are far more enduring than the fleeting satisfaction of getting what you want.

How to slay — or at least cope with — the ‘green monster’

Jealousy, which has its roots in caveman days, can stem from a first romance that ended in rejection.

Asking for help: Why it’s so difficult for some people

We think nothing of helping others, but somehow, we’re uncomfortable when we might need help.

Navigating the rough, often scary seas of a hospital stay

After helping a friend who underwent major surgery, Paul Schoenfeld reflects on ways to cope for patients and their loved ones.

The keys to coping with an inevitability of life: worry

Be prepared, have realistic expectations, and be confident in your inner strength and resources.

Our teens are in crisis — what can parents do?

There has been an epidemic of anxiety and depression among teens, especially during the pandemic.

These days, the innocence of childhood is more fleeting than ever

In recent weeks, a man armed with an automatic weapon shot and injured 10 people in a subway car in New York. It shut down… Continue reading

Does love last? Can we keep the home fires burning?

Don’t take your partner for granted, Paul Schoenfeld advises. Strive to connect with — all day, every day.

Some observations gleaned from the journey to old age

Among them: Be a student of your life, accept the inevitable changes of older age and being generous with yourself .

Finding a place for life’s pain to lessen its impact

We can explore the landscape of our life’s events, mine our memory and craft a narrative that makes sense to us.

How do we cope with the horrific war in Ukraine?

It’s distant from our everyday lives, but the war ignites our nervous systems, and our bodies don’t like sustained stress.

Men, it’s never too late to learn to take care of yourselves

The “tough it out” mindset means many wait too long to see a doctor when something’s wrong. Bad idea!