Getty Images

Getty Images

Viewpoints: Helping Dad be more than breadwinner, taskmaster

Work and social policies can make it difficult for dads to be nurturing and engaged at home.

By Kevin Shafer / For The Conversation

When my oldest son, now nearly 13, was born in July of 2008, I thought I could easily balance my career and my desire to be far more engaged at home than my father and his generation were.

I was wrong.

Almost immediately, I noticed how social policies, schools and health care systems all make it difficult for dads to be highly involved and engaged at home. Contradictory expectations about work and family life abound.

As a fatherhood researcher with four kids of my own, I am convinced that fathers are transformative figures for children, families and communities.

But a man’s mere presence, paycheck and willingness to punish misbehaving children is not nearly enough. Many of the benefits of fathering for children come from dads being nurturing, loving and engaged in all aspects of parenting.

When fathers are caregivers — when they provide emotional support and act affectionately toward their kids — the effects go well beyond growth, development, good health and solid grades. My research shows the benefits also include having children who value emotional intelligence, gender equality and healthy competition.

Nurturing versus stoic dads: Thinking about the broad impact fathers have, I analyzed how fathering affects different social values — such as a belief in gender equality — in May.

Surveying more than 2,500 American fathers 18 and older, I found that involved fathering has a long-lasting impact on the personal principles and cultural perspectives of children.

In my survey, the differences between the least nurturing and the most nurturing fathers are stark.

Surveyed fathers who reported that their own fathers were highly withdrawn tended to be hypercompetitive, emotionally stoic and unappreciative of women’s contributions outside the home.In contrast, surveyed fathers who said they had highly nurturing dads were much more likely to achieve their goals in a healthy manner, be more emotionally open and believe in equitable partnership.

How dads instill values: Several decades ago, many fathers were unwilling or unable to provide their children with emotional support or physical care. Instead, they focused on bread-winning, children’s discipline and simply being present in the home.

These traditional norms left many contemporary fathers ill-equipped for modern parenthood. Contemporary social norms set broad expectations for fathers: rule enforcement and economically supporting the family while also providing for children’s physical and emotional needs.

Broad paternal involvement with kids is important because dads have unique effects on kids. Children’s values, beliefs, emotional expression and social development are strongly associated with fathering. Kids are better regulated emotionally, more resilient and more open-minded when their fathers are involved in their education and socialization.

Boys, for better and worse, often mirror the habits, interests and values of their own fathers.

My colleague Scott Easton and I found that how one’s father behaves is especially powerful given that cultural, social and institutional norms about fatherhood are much weaker than they are for motherhood.

For example, mothers have traditionally been known for showing children affection and providing emotional support. Social expectations for these behaviors are not well defined among fathers. As a result, dads have a much larger impact on their sons’ fathering behaviors than moms have on their daughters’ mothering behaviors.

Positively, this means that a sizable portion of men replicate the best attributes of their own fathers; such as being loving and affectionate. Negatively, this means bad behaviors — such as extremely harsh discipline — are sometimes repeated across generations.

However, some men compensate for their own fathers’ poor or nonexistent parenting by forming their own ideas and values about parenting.

Benefits for all: The findings from my survey build on decades of research on the benefits of positive fathering. And these advantages aren’t just for children.

Mothers and other parenting partners are healthier and happier when fathers are highly engaged with their kids. Men who care for and support their kids benefit too: with improved self-image, life purpose and relationships. And communities gain increased trust and safety from the relationships built when fathers positively participate in their kids’ activities, schooling and social networks.

Valuing supportive fathers: How can American society ensure that healthy competition, emotional openness and respect for women are widespread among future generations of men and fathers? Part of the answer is by valuing loving, supportive fathering.

That means more support for fathers in workplaces, public policy and institutions. Paid family leave, flexible work arrangements and integration of fathers into prenatal and postnatal care are all effective ways to encourage fathers to be more involved.

Many fathers increased their share of child care tasks during the covid-19 pandemic. These shifts may become permanent, ultimately changing cultural values around parenting and gender roles.

Society also needs to provide clearer messaging to fathers about what does and does not work in parenting. For example, my colleagues and I have shown that men who believe they should be nurturing parents are more involved in their children’s lives. Fathers who demonstrate healthy masculine traits such as assertiveness and strong goal orientation also tend to be sensitive, engaged parents.

Thus, there are many routes to transformative fathering. And this is not simply behavior for biological fathers. Fatherhood is broadly defined, and people often look to nonbiological father figures such as relatives, stepfathers, foster fathers and unrelated mentors.

All men who support and care for children have a critical role to play in instilling positive social values in future generations.

Kevin Shafer is an associate professor of sociology at Brigham Young University. This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Opinion

toon
Editorial cartoons for Tuesday, June 24

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

Making adjustments to keep Social Security solvent represents only one of the issues confronting Congress. It could also correct outdated aspects of a program that serves nearly 90 percent of Americans over 65. (Stephen Savage/The New York Times) -- NO SALES; FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY WITH NYT STORY SLUGGED SCI SOCIAL SECURITY BY PAULA SPAN FOR NOV. 26, 2018. ALL OTHER USE PROHIBITED.
Editorial: Congress must act on Social Security’s solvency

That some workers are weighing early retirement and reduced benefits should bother members of Congress.

Kristof: Bombing of Iranian nuclear sites leaves 3 key unknowns

We don’t know how Iran will respond, if the attacks were successful or if they can lead to a new regime.

Harrop: With success against Iranian targets, time to step back

Trump’s call to strike was right, as is his declaration to shift the conversation to negotiations.

Stephens: Trump made right call to block Iran’s nuclear plans

While there are unknowns, the bombing leaves Iran with few options other than negotiation.

Comment: Immigration crackdown has economic fallout for all

Undocumented workers are a major source of labor in many fields. Replacing them won’t be easy; or cheap.

Comment: Trump isn’t first president to treat press badly

It doesn’t excuse excluding the AP from the Oval Office, but presidential cold shoulders are nothing new.

THis is an editorial cartoon by Michael de Adder . Michael de Adder was born in Moncton, New Brunswick. He studied art at Mount Allison University where he received a Bachelor of Fine Arts in drawing and painting. He began his career working for The Coast, a Halifax-based alternative weekly, drawing a popular comic strip called Walterworld which lampooned the then-current mayor of Halifax, Walter Fitzgerald. This led to freelance jobs at The Chronicle-Herald and The Hill Times in Ottawa, Ontario.

 

After freelancing for a few years, de Adder landed his first full time cartooning job at the Halifax Daily News. After the Daily News folded in 2008, he became the full-time freelance cartoonist at New Brunswick Publishing. He was let go for political views expressed through his work including a cartoon depicting U.S. President Donald Trump’s border policies. He now freelances for the Halifax Chronicle Herald, the Toronto Star, Ottawa Hill Times and Counterpoint in the USA. He has over a million readers per day and is considered the most read cartoonist in Canada.

 

Michael de Adder has won numerous awards for his work, including seven Atlantic Journalism Awards plus a Gold Innovation Award for news animation in 2008. He won the Association of Editorial Cartoonists' 2002 Golden Spike Award for best editorial cartoon spiked by an editor and the Association of Canadian Cartoonists 2014 Townsend Award. The National Cartoonists Society for the Reuben Award has shortlisted him in the Editorial Cartooning category. He is a past president of the Association of Canadian Editorial Cartoonists and spent 10 years on the board of the Cartoonists Rights Network.
Editorial cartoons for Monday, June 23

A sketchy look at the news of the day.… Continue reading

In this Sept. 2017, photo made with a drone, a young resident killer whale chases a chinook salmon in the Salish Sea near San Juan Island, Wash. The photo, made under a National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS) permit, which gives researchers permission to approach the animals, was made in collaboration with NOAA Fisheries/Southwest Fisheries Science Center, SR3 Sealife Response, Rehabilitation, and Research and the Vancouver Aquarium's Coastal Ocean Research Institute. Endangered Puget Sound orcas that feed on chinook salmon face more competition from seals, sea lions and other killer whales than from commercial and recreational fishermen, a new study finds. (John Durban/NOAA Fisheries/Southwest Fisheries Science Center via AP)
Editorial: A loss for Northwest tribes, salmon and energy

The White House’s scuttling of the Columbia Basin pact returns uncertainty to salmon survival.

Comment: MAGA coalition may not survive U.S. attack on Iran

Split over Trump’s campaign promise of no ‘forever wars,’ his supporters are attacking each other.

Stephens: Here’s one path for Trump in dealing with Iran

The U.S. should bomb a nuclear facility at Fordo, but then follow with a carrot-and-stick offer.

Ask voters what they want done on immigration

Immigration Ask voters what they want done What a fine collection of… Continue reading

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.