This dieter has learned her lesson about fat blasters

Published 9:00 pm Saturday, February 17, 2007

I’ve swallowed just about every weight-loss pill on the market. Speed your metabolism, curb appetites, caffeine free, caffeine filled, hoodia, phentermine, melters, TrimSpa, ephedra this, ephedra that.

There is an old bottle of Metabolife on my desk at work.

When I heard this week that for the first time, the Food and Drug Administration is making a prescription diet drug available over the counter, I couldn’t believe it was Xenical.

My innards seized.

In 1999, I asked my doctor to prescribe Xenical. Couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. It was supposed to push the fat out of your system.

Wheeee.

Doughnut in, doughnut out.

Extra trips to the restroom were fine during my two-week run with the drug. I was thrilled that fettuccine Alfredo wasn’t navigating straight to my kimono arms.

Then, the second weekend, I thought I had the stomach flu. We canceled plans for Friday night as I curled up in bed.

Saturday, I wanted to go the hospital. My abdomen felt like it was in a tightened vise grip and it wouldn’t let up. My worried husband had never seen me so sick. I called my doctor on his emergency line and moaned and groaned.

“I warned you,” he said. “Knock off the Xenical.”

I admitted I took the drug without changing my carbo-adoring eating habits, so my poor digestive system was totally haywire.

Did I suffer, and I felt ashamed. By Sunday night, the bad tummy passed; my need to die passed.

No more fat blasters go down this hatch. I’ll wait for the next amazing new diet pill to come along. Sad but true for millions of folks like me who seek easy ways out of a fat mess.

Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or oharran@heraldnet.com.