Caddyshack 2: Carl Spackler vs. the Elk Herd

Published 8:14 pm Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Is that a 5-iron or 7-iron shot? State Fish and Wildlife officials say they plan to hunt and kill elk in an attempt to drive off a herd of 25 of the wild animals that have adopted the TPC Snoqualmie Ridge golf course as their home, 30 miles east of Seattle. The elk have become a nuisance, tearing up greens and fairways.

In the interest of fairness, golfers who neglect to replace their divots also will be shot on sight.

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Volunteers? Didn’t think so: A review of U.S. Census data by the Pew Research Center shows that just over half of all adult Americans are currently married, compared to 1960 when 72 percent of adults were married.

The Pew Center suggested the percentage could be improved if enough single men could be found to marry socialite and booty model Kim Kardashian for 72 days at a time.

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Go, get the butter: High demand for butter in Norway has caused a shortage of the dairy product and led to butter smuggling, price gouging and sent Norwegians across the border to Sweden to buy it there.

Some Norwegians, who known for their thrift, are substituting with margarine and cheaper spreads. A similar shortage of dried codfish soaked in lye in the 1970s, caused a run on tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Lutefisk.

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