‘Navel gazing’ consuming society’s time
Published 7:00 am Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Last month I turned 40. In honor of that milestone, I spent the year leading up to it mired in a bad case of what someone in my family refers to as “navel gazing.”
You know what I’m talking about — those Big Life Questions: What have I accomplished in my four decades on this planet? Where do I go from here? How much time do I realistically have to do all the things I thought I’d already have done by now?
I could feel my personal odometer turning over. And it was clearly time for a tune-up.
Eventually I was able to turn my gloomy introspection around. I decided it was time that energy was put to more productive uses: I’m serving on a civic commission in my hometown. I’m lending my editorial skills to a local dog and cat rescue group. I’ve joined my town’s historical society.
Forty years ago, that kind of community involvement was par for the course. But today, I was surprised to discover, it’s headed toward being the exception, rather than the rule.
It took nearly a year to find candidates to interview for the commission opening. I may very well be the youngest active member in the historical society — by 30 years. Senior members themselves admit that the group is — literally — dying out.
So where is everyone? That’s what Robert Putnam, author of “Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community” has been tracking for more than a decade. America, Putnam says, has a “social-capital deficit.”
“Television, two-career families, suburban sprawl, generational changes in values — these and other changes in American society have meant that fewer and fewer of us find that the League of Women Voters, or the United Way, or the Shriners, or the monthly bridge club, or even a Sunday picnic with friends fits the way we have come to live,” Putnam writes. And this growing trend “threatens educational performance, safe neighborhoods, equitable tax collection, democratic responsiveness, everyday honesty, and even our health and happiness.”
Clearly there’s no singular cause of this social disconnect. But when you look at modern American life and what makes it “busy,” technology is also consuming a large portion of our “social capital.” Text messaging, surfing the Internet, playing computer games and even watching “reality” TV may be enjoyable distractions, but they give us a false sense that we are really participating in something meaningful.
Instead, what we’re really doing, as a wise old soul once said, is “navel gazing.” In this state of perpetual introspection, we’re paying a terrible price: We’re losing our emotional and spiritual connection to our family, friends and neighbors. And the more we isolate ourselves, the easier it is to shed our compassion for others.
I realize now that my challenge in the next 40 years is to increase my “social capital.” I hope that after reading this, you’ll consider making that investment in your own life.
