By Ron Friesen / Herald Forum
Recent conversations with friends have focused on two questions: How can we bring community together to support democracy, and, what do we need to teach in our schools to support this?
One of the most important things we all must learn, do and teach is to have discourse without contempt. Contempt is such a treacherous trap and so easy to fall into. The social media that absorbs our teens’ attention is filled with ridicule, derision, disdain and contempt. It corrodes. It infects. It debilitates.
We also see many (but not all) so-called news media full of this. Why? It’s easy, reactive, requires no thought, and requires only “selective truth.” Political leaders and commentators exploit this, thrive on it, and are rewarded for doing so. It is the debilitating cancer we see eating away at our families, culture and country.
This culture of contempt is driving anxiety, violence and unprecedented youth suicides. Adults as well as youth spread this infection into our families, our schools, the workplace, our churches, and our communities. This virus of contempt starts with words of ridicule. But now, all too often, we witness the virus as it infects local, state and federal governments, which are reversing hard won rights with contempt directed at those who disagree and speak out.
And the fever rages out of control in America worse than any other developed country, as we express our ultimate contempt for each other with weapons of death freely turned loose on our streets, in our schools, workplaces, shopping centers and even our homes. Let’s call this contempt what it really is: a mortal danger to our entire country and every person.
This seditious dragon of contempt is the Pearl Harbor of our times, attacking our very souls. We must declare war on it without becoming contemptuous … a very hard path to find and follow! When I am confronted with contempt, the easiest and fastest response is to return the contempt with a version of, “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you times two!” Disdain. Derision. Ridicule. Contempt. The trap is sprung, and I am in it.
We must not return contempt for contempt. This insidious trap is eating away at our foundational politics, our culture, our community and our personal relations.
The solution is self examination and bridge building. It is not enough to “disagree without being disagreeable.” We must always be ready to build our side of the bridge with a welcome sign for those with whom we disagree who are building their half of the bridge.
Instead of an ideological litmus test of positions on issues designed to exclude any who disagree, the test is to find those who will gather and work together without rancor and contempt to find agreements within the disagreements. This is democracy. This is community. This is our America!
The rancor, bluster, rants, derision, ridicule and contempt are not the roots of America’s greatness. Those are the roots of its destruction. This is precisely why I am so appreciative of everyone trying to build bridges. I am sure we do not all agree on everything, but there is deep respect, not contempt. This, more than anything I can think of, will rescue our country and needs to be taught to our youth.
This requires thought. It requires truth, not “selective truth” or “alternate facts.” My hope is that this vision ignites success in our communities as we have never seen before.
The constantly recurring theme in America, whenever we are plunged into conflict and division, is that we end up better and stronger than before. Our better selves shine through the darkness of division and contempt, and we see again how important it is to put aside differences and work side-by-side for the common good of all.
So to all our bridge builders, thank you! It is you who are building America’s magnificent future. I see you. Please keep building.
Ron Friesen is a longtime Marysville resident, a retired music teacher and community and church musician and is committed to community improvement.
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