Say ‘no’ to boorish behavior, ladies, for the good of us all

Published 9:00 pm Monday, June 21, 2004

I recently wrote a column addressed to the “tough guys” out there.

Young ladies, this one’s for you.

It’s a suggestion as to how to deal with the young “thugs” who now seem so abundant in society.

You’ve seen them – the ones with hats worn at goofy angles, the chained wallets, the untied sneakers, the outsized jerseys.

The most farcical feature, however, is the “six sizes too big” pants worn by these guys so as to expose their underwear.

Sorry gents, that “tough” image you so desperately seek meanders into foolishness when juxtaposed with the mental image of your asking Mom if she’d washed underwear you need to strike fear into the hearts of society.

But back to the suggestion as to how to deal with these “wannabes” and their loutish and, occasionally, violent behavior.

It’ll take backbone and courage. It’ll take self-respect and nerve. But it’ll work. Oh Lord, will it work.

And, ladies, you’ll also be helping a society that’s lost the spine to say, “We’re not putting up with this crap any more. Pull up your pants. Tuck in your shirt. Knock off the foul language. And let’s have a sir or a ma’am on the end of that sentence, stud.”

All that’s required is for you to do what proper young women have done since the dawn of history.

All you have to do is say, “No.”

When one of these oafs asks you out, just say, “No.”

To emphasize the point, along with the “no,” include the face you make when you discover you’ve just stepped into something the dog left on the lawn.

When asked if you’d like to “hang” with these goons just say, “No.”

Another nice flourish would be to explain (small words, short sentences – remember who you’re dealing with here) that you were taught to avoid being around “no account trash.”

When one of these boors indicates he’d like you to join his “Band of Losers,” just say, “No.”

As a member in good standing of the male species, I can attest to the fact that about 80 percent of our conscious thoughts revolve around the desire for female companionship. Sooner or later, some of us even find one who sets us to thinking “How can I get her to notice me?”

From there, we’ll do all manner of things like washing up, wearing decent clothes, speaking politely, and even attending cultural events we detest (Russian art exhibits for me … I’ll write about that later).

But only if we have to. You see, we’re lazy by nature. If we can have something without effort, by all that’s holy, we’ll take it.

However, if you demand it, we’ll give you the respect and consideration you want. We have to. The alternative is the removal of our line from the gene pool.

The teaching of such proper behavior may not be as prevalent as it once was, but it’s still out there.

As Edward Aldridge – a reader from Lynnwood – wrote:

“I had a cousin who lived with us when she was 12 and I was 8. There were lessons taught her about how proper young women expected to be treated by proper young men; lessons about how proper young women behaved so as to give weight to their demands for and expectations of such proper, respectful treatment. In short, the lesson was ‘be respectable, so as to be worthy of respect.’

“I have seen far too many young women allowing themselves to be treated cheaply and disrespectfully by the men in their lives. When I see young women ‘bopping’ to ‘gangsta rap’ – today’s so-called ‘music’ that extols the virtues of just such (boorish) conduct – I want to ask them: ‘Why do you encourage this thuggery?’

“As long as women continue to respond with favor to brutish men, men will continue to behave as brutes. It’s basic nature: men – especially young, hormonal men – will do whatever gains them the favor of women.

“It’s up to young women to insist on civility and respect. Indeed, it is up to women of any age to insist on, to demand, to require civil and respectful treatment from the men in their lives, from their sons and their brothers and their mates. The only way to do this is to ‘be respectable, so as to be worthy of respect.’ Otherwise, the disrespect of men for women and for society in general will increase. And, God help us all if that trend continues.”

I submit he has a point.

And you, ladies, have a tool: the word “No!”

It’s a terrible, swift sword.

Wield it against these thugs.

Society will thank you for it.

Larry Simoneaux is a freelance writer living in Edmonds. Comments can be sent to: larrysim@att.net.