The wrong congressman to rob

Published 9:00 pm Friday, May 25, 2007

One incumbent you don’t want to challenge: Police say a congressman from New Jersey chased down a robbery suspect after his wallet was stolen as he was walking in Washington, D.C., on Thursday night (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/05/27/100wir_a9capture001.cfm).

We suspect he’ll have good luck with a “tough on crime” platform in his next campaign.

Talk about bringing home the bacon. An 11-year-old boy in Alabama claims to have killed a wild hog weighing 1,051 pounds and measuring 9 feet, 4 inches long (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/05/27/100wir_a2hog001.cfm).

The boy’s father planned to have the beast made into sausage, figuring he’d get 500 to 700 pounds. Meanwhile, the family’s whole neighborhood is waiting breathlessly for invitations to the Memorial Day barbecue.

A pirate-themed tavern in Maryland is doing a swashbuckling business these days (http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/05/27/100wir_a14pirate001.cfm).

“Aye, it’s a great time to be a pirate,” said one employee.

That may be true, but it’s not enough just to put on an eye patch and find a pet parrot. If you want to be a pirate, you’ve got to talk like one. Fortunately, the Talk Like a Pirate Day Web site (http://www.talklikeapirate.com) has some vocabulary to get you started:

Avast!: Can be used to convey surprise, as in “Avast! There’s a 1,051-pound hog hot on my heels!”

Arrr!: Can be used for almost anything, good or bad, just like a lot of other four-letter words.

Bilge rat: A way to express fondness for your friends. Sort of makes us wonder what you’re supposed to call your enemies.

Of course, good pronunciation is an important part of learning any new language, so to help you get yours right, the guys behind Talk Like a Pirate Day have put together a short video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCkbWDGwE

— Katie Mayer, Herald staff