Sharpen your No. 2 pencil

Published 10:52 pm Tuesday, August 28, 2007

SAT scores declined for the class of 2007. The questions weren’t any harder, and the College Board didn’t explain the decline, but “America’s Got Talent” may be to blame. Here are a few SAT-style questions from today’s paper:

1. Marcus Pollard has performed well as the Seahawks’ new tight end. What has the man he replaced — Jerramy Stevens — never been accused of?

A) Assault with a deadly weapon.

B) Driving under the influence.

C) Reliably catching things that are thrown to him.

2. If an 81-year-old man charges you 1,000 percent annual interest on a $500 loan, what do you owe him if you don’t pay in a week?

A) An extra case of Quaker Instant Oatmeal.

B) An explanation. A VERY LOUD explanation.

C) You have to listen to his stories until he falls asleep.

D) Any of the above.

3. If you’re a U.S. senator arrested for allegedly propositioning an undercover cop in an airport men’s room, what do you do next?

A) Say, “No!” Then ask if it helps that you’re a senator.

B) Immediately plead guilty to something without talking to a lawyer.

C) Contact George Michael and start a support group.

D) Keep a low profile around the Mrs. for a while.

Answers: 1: C; 2: D; 3: D, but A and B are also accepted in Idaho.