Overheard on the police beat

Published 6:39 pm Friday, January 7, 2011

This is what happens on the scanner when people go insane during the holidays:

“He’s balding but has poofier hair on the sides like a clown. You might want to see if that’s him.”

“Caller believes she may have overdosed on alcohol. She drank half a bottle of bourbon ev

ery day for the last few days.”

“A 15-year-old male got his finger stuck in a bicycle. He is conscious, possibly bleeding from the finger … we’ll send (police).”

Cop 1: “You couldn’t spot any weirdos there?
Cop 2: “Well, there were plenty of weirdos, but the key one had already left.”

“We’re going to have to talk to this neighbor. He’s wearing an orange jacket, about 6-foot-4, running around up there, like Commando, looking for burglars with his gun and whatnot.”