Oh, baby

Published 11:02 pm Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Spoof in advertising: The Federal Trade Commission has filed a complaint against the company behind the “Your Baby Can Read” program, saying its claims of teaching 9-month-old infants to read are deceptive.

In response, the company will work to develop new programs that meet truth-in-advertising laws. Working titles include, “Your Baby Can Spit Up,” “Your Baby is Just the Cutest Thing” and “Your Baby Wishes You’d Relax and Put Away the Damn Flash Cards.”

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Tippi Hedren, take cover: Argentina has taken to shooting seagulls that have developed the bizarre behavior of attacking, pecking and feeding on southern right whales in Patagonian waters.

We’d like to apologize now for our harsh words to the seagulls’ cousins, the terns, that bombed our car the other day. Really, it’s not a problem. Nature calls, and all that.

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Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1952, a John Cage composition, “Four Minutes, Thirty-three Seconds,” had its premiere in Woodstock, N.Y. Pianist David Tudor sat at his piano and played nothing for the duration, as intended by Cage, who said the music was produced by background noises and the murmuring audience.

The piece is a favorite among those who bought the infant education program, “Your Baby Can Play This on the Piano.”