Forum: Why would anyone stay if they do not feel they belong?

Published 1:30 am Tuesday, April 21, 2026

I live in a wonderful neighborhood in north Marysville. We moved to our “forever home” in 1991 from our first Marysville home, purchased in 1976. During all this time here, we have had occasion to consider other homes in other places, but we never moved. Of course, it is terribly disruptive to pack up and leave a home. But there is so much more to it than just the house and all the stuff. It is the community. It is the neighborhood. We know them. They know us. We look out for each other. We listen to each other. We respect each other. We care for each other. We appreciate what we have in common. We belong.

Belonging is the tie that binds. Belonging is what ties families together. It ties neighborhoods and cities. It ties workplaces. It ties schools. It ties churches. Those ties are created when people look out for each other, listen to each other, respect each other, and care for each other. It recognizes, first and foremost, what we have in common more than anything else. And we value our common good above all else.

Belonging is created in so many different ways! But the most basic way is when you are recognized. You are not a stranger, and you are not ignored. This is critical in every part of our community. Weaknesses in one affect all the others.

Enrollment in our schools is declining, and it is not just because there are fewer students, though that is a factor. More students than ever before are being home-schooled or going to private schools. No one I can see is addressing the fundamental issue. It’s not about math and reading scores. It’s about belonging. It’s about identity.

Often, private schools have a required dress code, which many ridicule. But you know what? It’s their way of creating identity and belonging. And it works. Our schools have mascots and athletic teams. Students find identity and belonging there. But what about everyone else? Classes like band, drama and art also provide identity and belonging. But those classes, most of which are not available to home-schooled and private-schooled students, continue to be cut along with student identity.

In our schools, workplaces and communities, why should anyone stay if they do not feel they belong and have lost their identity? Every neighborhood, city, school and church has to reckon with this basic question. And the only number that matters is how many stay, and how many go.

How many are buying their “forever home” in Marysville now? How many have close ties to their neighborhoods, churches and schools? I don’t know. But I do know that building cheap apartments does not create forever homes. Schools without identity repel anyone who wants to belong. Insular churches, with myopic points of view, create communities designed to keep everyone else out. Workplaces designed around minimum-paying jobs do not create a belonging community.

My hope for the future of Marysville is that many will find their forever homes here, just as we did. In order for that to happen, we need to identify and promote the kind of neighborhoods like I am so fortunate to live in. We need to promote the Arts, which give a community and its schools character, identity and belonging. We need churches with doors open to doubters and other points of view. We need businesses that provide careers, not just minimum wage jobs to barely pay for the cheapest apartments.

I want to belong in a community like that. How about you?

Ron Friesen is a Marysville resident, a retired music teacher and community and church musician and is committed to community improvement.