At my house once the clock chimes 4 o’clock every minute counts. Snack, homework, outside time, dinner, television and bed — we try hard to stick to a routine, but it’s difficult not to let extracurriculars smash our schedule to bits.
How much is too much? I ask myself that question every time I look at our family calendar. How much homework? How much TV? How many chores? How many activities? The answers seem like they should be easy to determine and yet they aren’t.
Maybe the biggest question of all isn’t a “how” but a “what?” What does it mean to have a happy, middle-class childhood in America today?
School, sports and scouts; add in music lessons and you are looking at a total lack of free time — and that’s before you add a siblings’ schedule into the mix. Where does happiness fit in?
When my son was in preschool an experienced dad told me, “If your child isn’t playing a sport by fourth grade he or she basically has no chance of qualifying for the high school team.” That’s a sobering observation. I’m sure there are plenty of exceptions to that statement — but also a lot of wisdom.
Now that I have some years under my parenting belt, I’d add that it seems like if your child isn’t playing a sport in kindergarten, he or she has no chance of making the select teams by fourth grade.
So basically, as soon as your child is potty trained you better sign them up for something. Then, you need to pray hard that your kid doesn’t have a serious sports-related injury by middle school from too much training. Sometimes I wonder if the push to perform is ruining childhood completely.
After-school activities aren’t the only issue because there’s also homework. Schools have children for 61/2 hours a day. Shouldn’t that be enough? Many elementary school teachers agree and send their students home with light reading. Other teachers pile homework on with the false promise of: “It’s only one hour a night.” My children have experienced both scenarios.
As a former teacher myself, I understand the great burden the assessment movement has placed on education. Standards must be met! Homework is built-in to textbook curriculums and can appear essential, especially if it comes with one-on-one instruction from a parent.
America has created a system where the state pushes districts, to push principals, to push teachers, to push students, to perform well. But I don’t want my kids to be pushed around. I don’t want their teachers to be pushed around either. A little push would be OK, I guess, but how much is too much?
There I go again, asking my original question. I stare at my family’s calendar and scratch my head. Politely I query: “How much is too much?” but what I’m really wondering is: “What the heck are we doing to childhood?
Jennifer Bardsley lives in Edmonds. Her book “Genesis Girl” is scheduled to be released in 2016. Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal, Twitter @jennbardsley or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
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