What celestial delights this July: Just days after being amazed by the first photos of Pluto, we are headed for our second full moon of the month, known as a “blue moon.” Let’s gaze at the starry headlines:
“U.S. military to develop Star Wars-style hoverbikes with British company”: The military says they could be safer and faster than helicopters for certain missions, and also much, much cooler. The public also, of course, wants Star Wars-style hoverbikes, which have grown out of drone technology. So who wants to bet on the particulars of the first hoverbike/drone air rage incident? The droniest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle. (Amazon’s theme song.)
“Nearly half of smartphone users can’t imagine life without the device, survey shows”: Yikes. Need any more proof constant reliance on computers stifles creativity?
“China aims to double doctor numbers as cure for health care woes”: Maybe China can pay for WSU’s new medical school, increase its size, and train doctors for both China, and rural areas in Washington under the first public-private-capitalist-communist partnership.
“Feds get limited OK to question Lance Armstrong about sex life”: Because what’s a federal investigation without a prurient “Lewinsky element”?
“?‘Archie’ cartoonist Tom Moore dies in his native El Paso”: It’s just a coincidence, but still notable, that the news of Mr. Moore’s death came soon after the announcement that “Archie cartoon characters reborn as hip millennials.”
(Sigh. Must everything be hip? Wouldn’t turning them into modern nerds be more in keeping with the characters? With Reggie as a hipster wannabe?)
“Mystery solved: What’s causing weird ‘hair ice’?”: Standing in front of the open freezer trying to decide on the perfect late-night treat?
“Video gamers to be tested for doping after player admits: ‘we were all on Adderall’?“: Once you accept the idea that there are actual Professional Video Game Players, it makes sense they would seek an edge over their competition, given the high stakes and all.
“Craft sake is the latest trend brewing in U.S.”: Of course it is, since we’ve already been through the craft beer, cider, gin, vodka, whiskey, and tequila trends. What’s next? Craft prison concoctions?
“Japan opens hotel run entirely by robots”: This doesn’t free one from certain obligations, however. Guests are encouraged to tip staff in battery packs.
Brew up ideas for your own boutique hotel this week. For example, At Carol’s Cozy Ye Olde Inn, every room comes with a cache of old comic books and a stash of Cragmont pop.
Carol MacPherson: 425-339-3472; firstname.lastname@example.org.