You said ‘Beavis,’ heh, heh
Published 8:32 am Monday, November 7, 2011
It’s election eve. Try and contain your excitement. Let’s occupy some headlines:
•”Beavis and Butt-Head are bringing stupid back”: Well, in that case, the people who don’t make up the “Beavis and Butt-Head” demographic would like MTV’s animated “Daria” show back, as well as Comedy Central’s “Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist,” to balance the stupid with the smart.
•”Shawn Kemp Jr. out to make a name for himself”: One of former Sonic Shawn Kemp’s nine children, saddled with his father’s name, is a freshman on the University of Washington’s basketball team this year. Of course, he’s in the wrong city if he doesn’t want comparisons with his father, or to trade in on the name.
On the other hand, since he has worked hard to become academically eligible to play for the Huskies, Kemp Jr. has already made a name for himself — college student — surpassing his dad in one important way.
•”Janet Jackson exposure: Court backs CBS over Super Bowl fine”: Apparently the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” case, in which the singer’s breast was exposed for half a second, has taken seven years to wind its way through the justice system, appeals and all. And we wonder why we can’t pass a federal budget?
•”Cain Not Able”: For those appreciate a good headline (all politics aside if possible), this one on Maureen Dowd’s New York Times column is a classic.
•For those who enjoy a snarky headline, online-only publications, due to endless space and more casualness, can be freer, such as this one from Slate: “Fee-Market Capitalism: Bank of America learns it has to be more subtle about screwing its customers.”
•”National motto reaffirmed by House”: That would be “In God We Trust,” reaffirmed by the House of Representatives. Not “Everybody lies,” the motto of brilliant but troubled Dr. House, on TV.
•”Hollywood’s most overpaid stars”: Using a financial formula based on pay vs. profits per movie, Forbes declared Drew Barrymore and Eddie Murphy the most overpaid actors. Speaking for workers everywhere, we’re glad Forbes isn’t interested in outing employees in other industries. For example, coming up with a salary formula based on how often weather forecasters are right vs. wrong.
•”China seizes 65M counterfeit pills, some harmful”: The “Placebos R Us” label gave them away. “Made in China” was also a clue.
•”Plenty of positives for Sounders in season that ended too soon”: Kudos to goalkeeper Kasey Keller on his stellar 20-year career, and for going out on top.
Make a diving save today, literally or figuratively, depending on your job, and physical dexterity.
