Do you like your Christmas movies naughty or nice?

Published 11:42 am Monday, March 3, 2008

Andrea: It’s that time of year again, Steve. After we’ve cleared the Christmas dinner dishes from the table and the shredded wrapping paper from the living room floor, there’s still that awkward social interval that has to be navigated until the relatives pack up and go home.

Steve: Well, I know of only one surefire way to keep them occupied: an evening of holiday movie viewing.

Andrea: Yes, but which films? Not everyone in the family appreciates our eclectic film tastes.

Steve: Good point. The best approach might be to have two sets of videos available for viewing; one that will appeal to mixed company, and one that will entertain the more unconventional folks in the crowd.

Andrea: You mean like a “Nice” and a “Naughty” list?

Steve: Precisely.

Andrea: Well, I’ll start the “Nice” list with “Holiday Inn.” It marks the debut of Irving Berlin’s song “White Christmas,” as rendered by Bing Crosby. When he’s not running his New England holiday resort, Crosby competes with Fred Astaire in romancing the same woman.

Steve: You can’t go wrong with Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Like Ebenezer Scrooge, Jimmy Stewart’s George Bailey ventures through some dark personal territory before ultimately finding himself again.

Andrea: In “Miracle on 34th Street,” a man named Kris Kringle must convince a girl and her mother — as well as the New York Supreme Court — that Santa Claus really does exist. I like both versions — the 1947 version with Edmund Gwenn, Natalie Wood and Maureen O’Hara and the 1994 remake, starring Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins and Mara Wilson.

Steve: I don’t care much for musicals, but “White Christmas” is an exception. Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen sing and dance their way through more Irving Berlin classics than you can shake a fist at, all to save a failing Vermont inn run by the retired Army general they served under in WWII.

Andrea: There have been so many film versions of “A Christmas Carol” that I’ve lost count. While Alastair Sim’s 1951 turn as Scrooge is regarded as the best of the lot, my favorite is the 1984 version with George C. Scott. Then there’s “Scrooge,” the musical update of Dickens’ classic Christmas tale. Albert Finney’s morally bankrupt Scrooge is right up there with Sim and Scott.

Steve: Then of course, there’s “A Christmas Story.” Sure, you can watch the basic cable broadcast version over and over on Christmas Day, but Ralphie and his quest for a Red Ryder BB gun is best viewed uninterrupted and in widescreen.

Andrea: Finally, the newest addition to our Christmas movie collection is “Polar Express.” Adapted from Chris Van Allberg’s wonderful children’s story, the film does an outstanding job of capturing and expanding upon Van Allburg’s tale of a boy who thinks he’s too old to believe in Santa Claus.

Steve: As for the “Naughty” list, these are movies that should be saved for later in the evening, after those with impressionable minds — or those with easily offended sensibilities — are in bed.

Andrea: The first on my list is “Black Christmas.” I’ll have to reserve judgment on the remake that opens Christmas Day in theaters, as the studio didn’t preview the film for the press. The original 1974 version, however, is a little known gem. If you think it has a familiar plot line — a sorority receives obscene phone calls, and one by one the girls start to disappear — that’s because this is the movie that almost every other slasher film since then has copied.

Steve: I’ll vouch for “Trading Places,” where a down-and-out Eddie Murphy and wealthy snob Dan Aykroyd get their roles reversed, the result of a bet between wealthy old codgers Don Ameche and Ralph Bellamy.

Andrea: Another “so-bad-its-good” holiday horror film is “Silent Night, Deadly Night.” A killer goes on a murderous rampage in a Santa suit. Why? He spent the better part of his youth being abused in a Catholic orphanage, placed there following the murder of his parents.

Steve: If you’re the kind of person who becomes a human anger ball this time of year, the tonic you may be seeking is in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” The humiliations Clark Griswold suffers are funny, but when he finally cracks, it is one of the most laugh-out-loud spectacles of the holiday movie genre.

Andrea: Another modern update to the “Christmas Carol” tale, “Scrooged” stars Bill Murray as a nasty television executive who is visited by some even more unpleasant Christmas spirits.

Steve:You might not think that “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie, but if you recall correctly, Bruce Willis’s New York cop John McClane takes on a group of terrorists who crash a Christmas party in a Los Angeles hi-rise — a party hosted by the company McClane’s wife works for.

Andrea: The beautifully rendered 3D animation of Tim Burton’s off-beat “The Nightmare Before Christmas” is amazing and ultimately heartwarming, but its peculiar characters may not appeal to everyone in your crowd.

Steve: Finally, “Bad Santa” is a feat of tasteless comic genius. Use the R rating as a guide, if you have any question as to whether your children (or parents) should view this film. A profanity-spewing, alcoholic department store Santa may not fit into your idea of “Christmas spirit.”