When The Buzz rules

Published 11:12 pm Thursday, July 19, 2007

I fought the law, and the law won. So sang Bobby Fuller, The Clash, Hank Williams Jr. and Green Day. No doubt, like The Buzz, there are cases where they wish they’d won instead.

You can read about some of the new laws the state is about to enact. Some are good, some might make you wonder. The Buzz will withhold judgment.

The Buzz does think, from time to time, about how he’d run things if he got to set the rules. (Such thoughts inevitably run alongside The Buzz’s unfulfilled multimillion-dollar lottery fantasies.)

Forthwith, The Buzz offers these laws for your consideration:

Voting will be mandatory in all elections. The Buzz believes the country and its elected officials — from city councils on up — would be a lot better off if they had a better idea of who they’re supposed to represent.

Keep right, except to pass. The Buzz spends a lot of time on the road, too much of which is spent passing slower traffic in the left lane(s). Passing other cars isn’t so annoying. It’s the trailer-toting trucks and SUVs that irk the most.

Graduated speed limits for better drivers. The Buzz believes drivers who can prove their skills should be able to drive faster. Those who can’t will get to drive a ’76 Buick Century with a V-6. Or perhaps a pedal car.

Stupidity should hurt. OK, The Buzz saw this saying on a bumper sticker. It covers a whole range of idiotic acts. If you’re going to do something inspired by Jackass or Jack Daniels, you really need to be prepared to accept the consequences instead of shopping for a personal-injury lawyer.

— Kurt Batdorf, Herald staff