Viva Las Vegas

Published 8:35 pm Monday, April 23, 2012

Would you like your IV straight up or on the rocks? A Las Vegas doctor has equipped a bus to rove the streets of the strip and pick up revelers who have drunk too deeply of the city’s nightlife. For $90, the Hangover Heaven bus offers an IV drip of saline and B and C vitamins.

But we’ve got a better idea: Skip the bus and just sell IVs, complete with stands, that gamblers can drag around the casinos from slot machine to blackjack table.

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Just a Double Bypass, hold the mayo: For the second time this year, a patron has fallen ill at Las Vegas’ Heart Attack Grill, which infamously offers the 10,000-calorie “Quadruple Bypass Burger” and provides free meals to those weighing more than 350 pounds. The woman reportedly passed out while eating, drinking and smoking.

Another entrepreneur, inspired by the success of the Hangover Heaven bus, has stationed his own vehicle outside the Heart Attack Grill. It’s a hearse.

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Immoral communication: A 12th member of the military, a communications staffer assigned to the White House, has been implicated in the Secret Service prostitution scandal.

Rejected Colombian Tourism Bureau slogan: What happens in Cartagena will cost you your top-secret clearance.

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