Scariest part of Halloween? Mom handing out books

Published 12:31 pm Friday, October 24, 2014

I’ve got my wicked witch hat on. It’s invisible, but my kids know it’s there. Any second now I’ll start to cackle-laugh. My plan is to not let one piece of candy enter the house until October 31. I’m using my imaginary broom to sweep cavities from the house.

Buy it on sale. Stock up. Don’t wait or they’ll run out of Snickers! There are so many sweet reasons to buy candy ahead of time. The problem is, at my house, it’ll all be gone by Halloween.

“Just one piece, Mom.” That seems so reasonable. Then one piece becomes two, and two becomes twice a day. Before I know it a whole bag is gone. Then, during a really crappy weekend full of yard work and laundry, my husband and I polish off the second bag.

Last year I thought I’d be so smart. I bought a pack of trick-or-treating vouchers from McDonald’s to pass out instead. Each one was good for a free hamburger, ice cream cone, milk, or bag of apple slices. I felt a little guilty because I have read Eric Schlosser’s stomach churning book “Fast Food Nation.” But milk and apples aren’t that bad, right?

At the Cub Scout Pack’s Trunk-or-Treat event where everyone dressed up their car and passed out candy, the vouchers were a hit. “Wow! This lady’s giving out coupons for free hamburgers.”

But my own kids were horrified. As far as they were concerned, I had mortally embarrassed them. It was like I had passed out raisins — but worse.

My son was certain that somebody would egg our house in revenge. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. But when Halloween was over, we had a ton of extra vouchers left over. Unfortunately, you could only use one per kid, per day, before the expiration date. We went to McDonalds twice a week until we had redeemed all of the milk and ice cream. This meant that my kids became used to visiting the drive thru on a regular basis, which isn’t a habit I meant to teach them.

So much for my great idea.

One of my best friends has a different plan. When trick-or-treaters ring her doorbell this year, she’s passing out gently-used books. All fall she’s visited library book sales and scoured Goodwill for inexpensive books. Her price point is a quarter. It’s involved a lot of hard work, but she’s accumulated a stockpile for babies all the way up to teenagers.

When I broached this idea to my own family, the pitchforks came out. “Now you want to give out books? Mom! You’re killing us. Can’t we pass out Snickers like normal people?”

Well maybe we could, if I can find a really good hiding place to stash them before Halloween.

Candy, coupons or books, there’s no way I can win. I better stock up on toothpaste. I can picture the cavities already.

Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two and blogs at cmg-northwest2.go-vip.net/heraldnet/ibrakeformoms and teachingmybabytoread.com.