The Martian

Published 1:48 pm Monday, September 28, 2015

In space, nobody can hear you weep: Mars appears to have flowing streams of salty water, at least in the summer, NASA scientists said Monday. The finding could have major implications for the possibility of life on the red planet.

“Flowing streams of salty water” also describes lame-duck House Speaker John Boehner listening to Pope Francis speak last week.

There’s no Beaufort D’Ete at the food bank: Whole Foods Market says it will cut 1,500 jobs in the next two months, about 1.6 percent of its workforce.

In accordance with the layoffs, the Texas-based organic foods giant’s nickname will change from “Whole Paycheck” to “Three Whole Unemployment Compensation Checks.”

The Cooperstown of toys: The spinning top, coloring book, Wiffle Ball and puppet are among 12 finalists for this year’s class at the National Toy Hall of Fame. Also nominated are Battleship, Jenga, Super Soaker, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Twister

But all of those pale when compared to the Joe DiMaggio, Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb of the toy hall of fame: the cardboard box.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff