A recipe for a well-seasoned holiday

Published 1:30 am Saturday, December 2, 2017

I can always tell when the holidays are around the corner — drivers start to take out all of the slack! Gone are the polite Northwesterners who always let someone into their lane. Beware of those four-way stops! It’s everyone for themselves.

For many adults, the holidays are a mixture of sweet, sad and stressful moments.

Here’s my recipe for a rewarding holiday season for yourself and your loved ones.

The stressful

Family obligations, what to get Uncle Bill this year, not enough money, kid’s constant demands, holiday cards, your need to have this be the best Christmas ever, family gatherings, who gets Christmas eve and who gets Christmas morning, holiday meal preparation, too much drinking, travel, family secrets, shopping, too much eating, holiday treats that co-workers bring to the office, loneliness, no alone time, complicated family constellations (blended, mine, yours, ours and step), obligations, office parties, catching a cold or stomach virus, credit card debt, growing gift lists, shrinking wallets.

The sad

Recent deaths in the family, ill relatives, remembering those who have passed away, anticipating the loss of older relatives, struggling with your own health problems during the holidays, loneliness, unemployment, underemployment, marital problems, difficulties with your kids, problems that don’t go away because it is December or difficulties with parents.

The sweet

Trimming the tree, memories of childhood holidays, seeing family or friends who live far away, catching up, favorite holiday foods, renewing spiritual or religious traditions, photographs, family rituals, receiving gifts, after-Christmas sales, time off from work and school, travel to warm, sunny and dry places, skiing, snowboarding, giving gifts and remembering what is really important in your life. It isn’t the gifts or the food. It’s the people you love.

My recipe

Don’t eat or drink too much, exercise, sleep, take naps, don’t be pressured by others, please yourself, don’t feel compelled to live up to everyone else’s expectations, cultivate realistic expectations, take a hot bath, get a massage, get a manicure, plan a vacation, get outside as much as you can, buy yourself something you want, hold hands with your partner, shop late at night, establish your own family rituals, breathe — and breathe some more.

Rest, relax and rejoice.

Paul Schoenfeld is director of The Everett Clinic’s Center for Behavioral Health. His blog can be found at www.everettclinic.com/family-talk-blog.