The gestures are sweet but modest: I carried my wife’s purse. I made her breakfast. I taped a note to her mirror telling her I liked her haircut.
Nothing earth-shattering there. And yet the Roman Catholic Church is counting on publicizing these small acts of everyday kindness to revitalize the institution of marriage.
Alarmed by the persistently high divorce rate and the growth in couples living together without a license, Catholic bishops nationwide have teamed on a media blitz aimed at promoting and strengthening marriage.
The first ad campaign, launched in July, features ordinary people talking about what they’ve done to enrich their marriages. The bishops hope that the stories – I brought my husband mustard for his sandwich; I gave him an enormous hug to start the day – will inspire spouses everywhere to work harder to keep the flame alive.
But some supporters of the campaign say this might not be an ideal moment for the Catholic Church to peddle relationship advice.
“These guys are plagued by scandals involving sexual misconduct – how come they’re telling other people what to do? That’s the obvious, cynical reaction,” said John Grabowski, an associate professor of moral theology at Catholic University of America.
Grabowski also noted that the campaign will be colored by the debate over same-sex marriage. The Catholic Church strongly opposes such unions; the bishops plan to step up their political activism on the issue in coming years. With that in the background, some viewers might dismiss the ads as conservative propaganda.
“That’s a minefield the bishops will have to walk,” Grabowski said.
He thinks they can do it; indeed, he’s signed on as an adviser to the campaign.
The bishops also are consulting with couples at all stages of dating, marriage and divorce, to make sure the advice isn’t coming solely from single men sworn to celibacy.
In future stages, the bishops’ campaign – known as the National Pastoral Initiative on Marriage – will be directed more narrowly at Catholic couples. A pastoral letter, due out within the year, will reinforce the theology of heterosexual marriage as a sacrament. The bishops also plan to develop brochures and counseling resources for priests.
For now, the ad campaign is designed with ecumenical appeal. There are no references to the Catholic Church until the end of each spot, when the announcer promotes the campaign’s Web site, ForYourMarriage.org. The couples interviewed appear to come from a variety of backgrounds; one woman wears a traditional Muslim head scarf.
“How effective it will be is anyone’s guess, but it can’t hurt,” said David Popenoe, director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.
The couples interviewed in the bishops’ TV spots suggest ways large and small to nurture a marriage: Set up a date night; send a loving e-mail; clean the house without being asked.
“I flirted with my husband like when we first got married. That’s what I did for him this morning. And it made him happy,” one middle-aged woman says.
An elderly man offers, with a rueful smile: “I’ve done today what I usually do. And that is: Obey.”
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