End times served best on the rocks

Published 2:22 pm Friday, April 20, 2012

I’m a “prepper,” he’s a “prepper,” she’s a “prepper,” we’re a “prepper,” and wouldn’t ya like to be a “prepper” too?

This well-televised and very popular “hobby” today is prepping for the “end of the world.” It’s going to be a financial disaster, global devastation, losing all our power or being taken over by China … whatever the reason … people are getting “ready” for it. Now, I am all for being prepared but these people have taken it to a whole other level.

I do have a tent, a Coleman stove, sleeping bags and three gallons of water; and a secret weapon that will get me through a very hard time. It is my fifth of Jack Daniels and a lawn chair. Once I hear that the bombs are coming or that the bottom dropped out of the financial world, or that we have lost all electricity, I am going to pull out my lawn chair, pop the top on my bottle of Jack and sit back to watch the show about to unfold before my very eyes. Whiskey is one of nature’s greatest resources.

Think about it. If I am left with nothing and must wander the earth alone, my whiskey will provide comfort and warmth (on the inside at least). If I need to build a fire, my buddy “Jack” will act as an accelerant … if I need to perform any medical procedures, it will make a great antiseptic, as well as an anesthetic, and my lawn chair will become an operating table. If I have to drink “dirty” water, what better chaser than a shot of Jack? If I have to consume any “roadkill,” whiskey makes a great ingredient to “deglaze” your pan with and make a tasty sauce.

Cheers to all my fellow preppers. Come on by after the dust settles and we will all propose a toast to our new world.

Susan Martin

Everett