Escargot sue for slander
Published 12:50 pm Sunday, November 14, 2010
Let’s tiptoe through the headlines, unless heavy clogging works better:
•“Man buys back stolen tools in Tacoma; police arrest two”: Since this is now a bona fide avenue of recovery, Craigslist will start advertising itself as the place to “Come find your stolen stuff.”
“‘Exploding’ escargot ignite saucy lawsuit”: Two California men are suing a San Rafael restaurant because when they pierced an escargot appetizer with forks, hot garlic butter allegedly sprayed their faces and polo shirts, the Marin Independent Journal reported.
Chadwick St.-OHarra says the butter got into one of his tear ducts, causing temporary vision impairment. Steve Righetti, who was celebrating his birthday, claims the side of his nose was squirted, the paper reported.
“I was humiliated,” said Righetti. “I thought, ‘Do I need this on my birthday?’”
Despite the trauma, the meal continued. As the Marin Independent Journal article notes: “Plaintiffs concede they did not seek immediate medical treatment and continued on with their meal, a filet-and-lobster combo for St.-OHarra, the seafood medley for Righetti.”
Amazing that scary escargot (described as “bubbly hot” on the menu) didn’t frighten them away from lobster and a medley of seafood.
The men say they didn’t want to sue, but the restaurant was not sufficiently remorseful about the incident. (And maybe their warm, moist towels for cleaning up were not sufficiently scented with lavender.)
Oh, the injustice. Let’s hope the judge requires that in the future, the men must always wear bibs whenever eating out. Or maybe all the time, just for safety’s sake. (And to issue them to everyone else if they ever file a lawsuit again.)
•“Cops: Man tries to run down woman after wedding proposal”: A California man was charged with assault with a deadly weapon after allegedly trying to run his girlfriend over when she declined his proposal of marriage — which took place at the Burger Stop, the Los Angeles Times reported.
After the woman said no, the man allegedly drove onto the sidewalk and into the parking lot, narrowly missing the woman. “Stacy Will You Marry Me” was on the car’s back window.
While no doubt disturbing for Stacy, it’s not every day that a person gets such immediate feedback that they have, in fact, made the right decision.
•“Scientists use tarantulas to explore human fear”: Participants were put in functional-MRI machines and shown videos making it seem that tarantulas were being placed near their feet.
The scientists were forced to use tarantulas after discovering the original fear-inducing agent — exploding escargot — was simply too frightening for the subjects to endure.
