Friday the 13th in court

Published 9:49 pm Thursday, July 12, 2007

Rev up the chain saw and don the hockey mask; it’s Friday the 13th. Consider yourself lucky you’re not involved in any of the following:

Blues Abstainer. John Popper, Snohomish resident and lead singer and harmonica stylist for Blues Traveler, must avoid any arrest for pot possession for a year, following a conditional dismissal of possession charges in a Ritzville court. (Ritzville? They have courts in Ritzville?)

Popper, previously known for his girth and sideburns, has recently lost both. Now, he has to ditch the doobies, too. Might as well start working on that album of Celine Dion covers.

Virgin territory. An off-Broadway show called “My First Time” is handing out free tickets to professed virgins and has asked a hypnotist to make the call as to whether they really are virgins or not.

The play’s producers should probably start work on the sequel: “My First Lawsuit for Defamation.”

Oh yez. Oh no. Judges in British civil and family courts will hang up their white horsehair wigs as of next year, saving the government about $600,000 a year.

If Popper’s still hunting for a new look onstage, he might want to check eBay for the surplus wigs.