What’s next for our Olympians?
Published 11:21 pm Friday, August 22, 2008
Fresh off winning eight gold medals at the Olympics, Michael Phelps will write a tell-all book, “Built to Succeed.” The title is no doubt a reference to his long torso, 6-foot-7 arm span and dorsal fins.
Phelps says he will go into detail about his rigorous training regimen, which includes eating about 12,000 calories a day — five times as much food as the average adult male. But your body burns through plankton pretty fast.
Meanwhile, most of the other athletes are doomed to a life of obscurity. U.S. ping-pong player David Zhuang will go back to avoiding girls at the local rec center; the gymnasts will spend the rest of their lives feeling like someone is judging them unfairly; and the women’s beach volleyball players will go job hunting at coffee stands — the only places they can dress appropriately for interviews.
And the International Olympic Committee wants proof that China’s women gymnasts are really at least 16 years old.
It doesn’t look good. An inspection of the girls’ dorms turned up dozens of Hannah Montana CDs and Pee Chee folders decorated with hearts drawn around pictures of the Jonas Brothers.
