Heartfelt words a real thank you

Published 11:18 pm Monday, June 18, 2007

We are in the season of ceremony, celebration and gift giving. I have really been overwhelmed by the generosity of friends and family eager to acknowledge both of my daughters for high school graduation. I find myself saying “Have you sent your thank you” notes more than I would like to admit.

I’m really a stickler for hand-written thank you notes. I can tell you that I can’t remember most of the gifts I’ve given, but I can remember a well- written thank you note. In fact, writing thank you notes is a skill that will get you far in this world. Don’t underestimate the impression you leave on people with your ability to deliver a heartfelt thank you.

The well-done thank you can be a career maker. I am not overstating or exaggerating its value. The key to the thank you is to say something personal. A bland, generic, one-size-fits-all thank you misses the point entirely. No one feels thanked by an emotionless message.

People seem to lack imagination in thank you notes. Try not to focus on the gift. Certainly thank them for the gift but, more importantly, thank them for what they bring to your life. Thank them for who they are.

Another way to enhance a thank you note is to share something that is coming up that you are looking forward to. Give a specific detail in your life.

If you are thanking someone for a baby gift share about how you are painting the nursery yellow next week. Give the gift giver a little glimpse into your life. This little peek in your world lets people feel connected to you. Remember, it is the connection to you that inspired the gift.

My daughter hand-painted little watercolors to put on her thank you cards. Perfect idea. The little watercolors are personal and thoughtful. Not everything has to be put in words.

I recently attended a baby shower where the party thrower thought it would be a nice gesture to have us all fill out the envelopes of the thank you cards. We actually addressed the thank you notes to ourselves. Clever? No.

To all the shower makers out there, if you want to help collect addresses on a pad, that’s fine. Filling out an envelope to thank myself for my gift is appalling.

Don’t make it seem like a chore to thank people. Thanking people is as much a part of the ceremony, experience, graduation, as the act itself. Go the extra mile. Send thank yous to people who have supported you who did not send you a gift. Be sure to thank everyone who has contributed to your education, supported you in your endeavor or encouraged you along the way.

Today, on my desk, I received a beautiful poem from a 13-year old girl. She thanked me for believing in her. She could have just said “thanks,” and that would have touched me in the moment. But her typed up poem delivered to my desk, left an impression I will never forget.

Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. She is a therapist, a wife and a mother, and has founded two nonprofit organizations to serve homeless children. You can e-mail her at features@ heraldnet.com.