Worst of the worst, 49ers sink to new low

Published 11:55 pm Monday, November 12, 2007

SEATTLE — The 49ers blew it.

Before Alex Smith reared back and pegged a bomb to Arnaz Battle for a 45-yard completion on the final play before intermission, San Francisco had the distinction of having played the worst 30 minutes in NFL history, modern era.

In terms of first-half futility, the 49ers threw a no-hitter, which also is an adequate description of their defensive effort against the Seahawks Monday night.

But the offense was the origin of the most felonious of offenses the 49ers inflicted on the record Qwest Field crowd of 68,331 and a national television audience. Before Smith connected with Battle, the once fearsome 49ers (well, fearsome a decade ago, anyway) had exactly zero first downs, three fumbles, minus-3 passing yards and 31 total yards.

And of course, no points, which did nothing for morale.

“I could put my finger on it, but it wouldn’t be politically incorrect,” said receiver Darrell Jackson, a former Seahawk malcontent.

Smith has been the focus of Bay Area fans’ wrath. Someone asked coach Mike Nolan if Smith, a former No. 1 draft pick, was playing himself out of his starting spot. Nolan hardly gave his quarterback a vote of confidence.

“We’ll let the season dictate that at the very end,” Nolan said. “In some ways, you’re saying, ‘Yay,’ and in some ways you’re saying, ‘My Gawd!’”

Smith was 12-for-28 passing for 114 yards. He was sacked three times and lost two fumbles.

If we’d had it in us to muster sympathy for ESPN, this would be the time. Imagine the TV audience’s mass exodus from the formerly formidable Monday Night Football (well, formidable two decades ago, anyway) in favor of Bowling for Towels or Celebrity Canasta.

We could only imagine Tony Kornheiser’s reaction in the ESPN booth: “I’ve taken more exciting naps.”

San Francisco is a gorgeous metropolitan city. It has everything: the world’s best restaurants, spectacular scenery, a downtown that oozes romance. That it’s saddled with this calamity of a football team can only be attributed by a sense of fair play by The Man Upstairs.

No city should be perfect. As charming as Cashmere is, it distributes those cursed Aplets &Cotlets. Paris has Parisians. San Francisco has the 49ers, losers of seven straight.

You have to wonder what happened. The 49ers were the sexy pick to dethrone the Seahawks for the NFC West crown this season. Monday night, the 49ers showed they’re no more ready to take the division than they are to man the next NASA shuttle launch.

It started badly for the 49ers and got worse. On their first play from scrimmage, Smith tried to hit Jackson deep, but Jackson dropped the ball.

Their second series resulted in a lost fumble. Following that was a comedy of penalties that put them in a first-down, 30-yards-to-go hole. The next series produced another fumble, followed by a punt after three plays and another fumble.

After the final San Francisco fumble of the half, an obviously distracted referee Larry Nemmers called a penalty. As a silent crowd looked on, Nemmers clicked on his microphone and announced to God and everybody, “There is no penalty. I threw my flag instead of my beanbag.”

It was that kind of night.

So what do we do about this?

Most favorable would be a scenario wherein the NFL follows the brilliant example of English soccer, where the bottom teams are banished to the dreaded lower divisions.

The NFL shouldn’t force anyone to pay good money to watch this team. Off to the Arena League with it! Better yet, af2.

Think of this: The Everett 49ers.

Sam Adams, majority owner.

Talk about your dream fit.

Sports columnist John Sleeper: sleeper@heraldnet.com. For Sleeper[`]s blog, click on cmg-northwest2.go-vip.net/heraldnet/danglingparticiples.