Longtime couples know that love isn’t always easy

Published 11:30 pm Saturday, February 9, 2008

Arlene and Chester Grimm met in Kansas. It was 1942, and they worked for the National Youth Administration, part of President Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal.

Started during the Great Depression, the student employment program had young Arlene in a clerical job while Chester did electrical work building a radio transmitter.

“We earned $30 a month, but the school took $18 for room and board,” Arlene Grimm said Friday.

Those were different times, but the couple, who celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary Dec. 12, met the way many sweethearts still do — at a school dance.

“I was attracted to her,” said Chester Grimm, who is 85.

He and his 86-year-old wife were together Friday at a south Everett church, the site of an ElderHealth Northwest adult day health center.

The nonprofit program, which operates in King and Snohomish counties, provides social and health services to seniors while offering respite to caregivers.

The Grimms, who live in an Everett apartment, come several times each week to the program housed in the Seattle Korean Adventist Church on Airport Road. Activities include fall-prevention exercises and help for those with memory loss.

Along with another couple in the ElderHealth program, the Grimms agreed to share their experience of lasting love. Life hasn’t always been easy or kind to either pair, and their love stories don’t read like Valentine’s cards.

After all their years together, one might expect a long list of suggestions for young couples. Arlene Grimm is spare with her secrets for a long marriage.

“We had a good family, and we’re Christian people,” she said. For years, they’ve worshipped together at Delta Community Baptist Church in Everett.

They raised three children, two sons and a daughter. Years ago, Chester Grimm was injured working on a highway crew. His wife has survived several serious surgeries, including a heart-bypass procedure.

“She’s a miracle,” said her husband, who often cooks for his wife.

This Valentine’s Day, they’ll exchange cards and maybe go out for dinner. Arlene Grimm still keeps a modest but treasured Valentine’s gift from years ago. “Three big roses,” she said. “They’re artificial, but they’re beautiful.”

Disagreements? With all the living they’ve done, squabbles hardly matter.

“We forget it,” Arlene Grimm said. “The day we were married, the pastor said never let the sun set on a quarrel.

“Just don’t give up on each other,” she said. “At the wedding, we promised before God to be together until death do us part.”

“It’s hard to do,” said Jerry Gaudette, 79, who was at the ElderHealth center Friday. “It is hard,” agreed his wife, Charlene, 77.

They’ll mark their 50th anniversary April 11.

They met working for the same business, where he was a salesman and she worked in an office.

“One day he said, ‘If I call, would you go out with me?’ Then I had to wait for his call,” Charlene Gaudette said. “I knew what he was like. He’s honest to the nth degree.”

At a Valentine’s Day dinner, Jerry proposed. Four children and many ups and downs later, they now live with Charlene’s daughter, Denice Johnson, whose Everett home includes an apartment for them.

Jerry Gaudette suffered a stroke in his 50s. “He was in assisted living and I was alone in a little apartment,” his wife said. Being back with her husband at her daughter’s home has been a blessing.

“We’ve been together the last 20 years,” Charlene Gaudette said. “It’s not always easy, but we’re together. He’s the one who has put up with me.”

“I’m a little quieter,” her husband said. His way of handling a spat is to “walk away.”

“To me, it’s gone fast,” Charlene Gaudette said of their half-century together. “I’m lucky to have him.”

Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlstein@heraldnet.com.