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Unchained melody

Published 10:25 pm Wednesday, June 10, 2009

By Jon Bauer, Herald staff

Shackled producer: The California Department of Corrections has released a photo of recently imprisoned record producer and murderer Phil Spector.

The man who developed the “Wall of Sound” is now behind four walls of concrete blocks.

Oh, bite me: Lake Stevens school officials are asking concerned parents to lay down their torches and pitchforks; vampires are not biting students at Mount Pilchuck Elementary School. It appears a seventh-grader’s overly friendly hug of two younger students spiraled into wild rumors of a vampire.

Lake Stevens officials, however, do want to take the opportunity to remind everyone about the big Quidditch tournament this weekend. Students should remember to bring their own brooms.

Less-than-brilliant deductionThe head of the IRS is proposing a federal law that would require professional tax preparers to be trained and licensed.

Until then, here are some signs that may persuade you to reconsider the neighborhood tax preparer:

  • He informs you that you can claim Octomom’s 14 children as dependents.

  • He tells you he’ll file your taxes as soon as he’s filed for an extension for his taxes — for 1987.

  • He can’t decide between orange red or red orange when he reaches for a crayon to sign your return.

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