Grab an umbrella

Published 8:28 pm Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Occupied: The Snohomish County Public Utility District hired a helicopter this week to retrieve two portable toilets from Spada Lake so they could be emptied and cleaned, providing an opportunity for photos of high-flying outhouses.

The PUD is exploring regular service between Paine Field and Spada Lake on Honey Bucket Air, but seating will be limited. And a little drafty.

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Can’t get Soylent Green anymore either: Safeway Inc. announced that it will no longer use the beef product dubbed “pink slime” in the ground beef in its fresh meat cases, not over any concerns for its wholesomeness but because of consumer reaction to new stories about the ammonia-treated “lean finely textured beef.”

Hoping to win back lost market share, beef producers announced the slogan for their new campaign: “Finely Textured Pork, The Other Pink Slime.”

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Saints and sinners: The National Football League handed out severe penalties to New Orleans Saints coaches who paid out cash bounties to Saints players who injured opponents enough to get them carted off the field or knocked out of a game.

The NFL is determined that if anyone is going to get paid for injuring other players as part of the game of football, then the NFL will be the one to sign the checks.

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