3 slices of bacon

Published 3:31 pm Monday, October 26, 2015

Is there a bacon patch yet? Scientists with the World Health Organization have reviewed 800 studies from the past 20 years and have determined that diets loaded with bacon, hot dogs and other processed meats cause cancer and that red meat, itself, is probably carcinogenic, too.

The problem now for the U.S. Surgeon General is figuring out how to keep the warning label from slipping off a slice of bacon.

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But it’s a dry heat: A study in the journal Nature Climate Change says that if greenhouse gas emissions continue to climb, parts of the Persian Gulf could hit 165 to 170 degrees for six hours on many days, a range that would endanger healthy, fit people.

Persian Gulf health officials are advising people that when temperatures reach that range to take shelter in a much cooler meat smoker, since you can’t use it to smoke bacon anymore.

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Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1858, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, was born.

T.R., moments after he was born, nursed himself on a rasher of bacon from a hog he slaughtered himself and smoked over hickory.

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