Red, red wine

Published 9:17 pm Monday, October 28, 2013

Goes to my head: The average Italian used to drink nearly 30 gallons of wine a year, but with younger Italians increasingly preferring beer, vino consumption in that country has slipped to about 10 gallons per person (Page A9).

Someone better tell the fashion-conscious Italians that if they’re going to drink like Americans, they have to dress like us, too. Bring on the sweatpants with elastic waistbands and the shoes with Velcro fastenings.

In an iSlump: Apple’s latest quarterly earnings fell 9 percent, the third consecutive quarter that the company’s earnings have dropped from the previous year (Page A9).

Later Monday night, Apple CEO Tim Cook was visited by the irate ghost of Steve Jobs, who shouted at him, “You’re killing me here! Oh, wait …”

Tech overload: A pediatricians group says unrestricted media use by children can have serious consequences, such as attention problems, exposure to pornography, and obesity, and that kids’ media consumption should be limited to no more than two hours daily (Page A8).

Exempt from those two hours are the 30 minutes it’ll take your kid to restore the Start button on your new Windows 8 laptop.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff