AKA milkshake

Published 5:03 pm Monday, June 8, 2015

A cup of coffee would go well with those things: Starbucks is adding six new flavors of Frappuccino, its calorie-laden caffeinated beverage — Red Velvet Cake, Cotton Candy, Cinnamon Roll, Lemon Bar, Caramel Cocoa Cluster and Cupcake.

In a related move, Starbucks “partners,” the company’s lingo for its employees, will be rolling out six new slightly baffled reactions to customers who just want a cup of drip coffee.

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Soccer bomb: “United Passions,” a FIFA-commissioned puff piece starring Tim Roth in his most embarrassing IMDb entry as disgraced FIFA capo Sepp Blatter, grossed all of $900 during its first weekend in theaters, or about 0.003 percent of its $30 million budget.

The direct-to-video sequel is tentatively titled “United Passions II: Mo’ Better Bribes.”

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Don’t know much about history: On this day in 1911, hatchet-wielding temperance crusader Carrie Nation died at age 64.

And thus a wise and just Supreme Being ensured Carrie didn’t stick around long enough to see Prohibition.

— Mark Carlson, Herald staff