Many celebrities insist that they are actual human beings, with the same dreams, emotions and desires as normal people.
But we know better. We know that celebrities are here only for our amusement. And, I might add, they are doing a fine job of amusing us.
I used to believe that they were pretty close to humans, only more attractive. I gave them the benefit of the doubt on this subject. However, the more I study celebrities, the more I’m convinced that they serve no higher purpose than entertainment.
As amusing as these celebrities can be on occasion, they can be very puzzling as well.
They often raise more questions than they answer.
For instance: “Why did she marry that guy?”
Who among us has not asked that question in recent weeks? I know you assume I am speaking of Sandra Bullock, who got to savor her best actress Oscar win for exactly eight days before learning that husband Jesse James has been engaging in less-than-stellar behavior. This is the same guy that the actress thanked tearfully from the stage at awards shows.
You can’t swing a prenup over your head in this town without hitting an actress who has hooked up with the wrong guy. It’s an epidemic. And I have no explanation for it, except that they must be doing it intentionally to entertain us.
Celebrities have always been entertaining, but usually they confined it to the particular art form for which they are famous, such as movies, television or pop music. Now, off-screen bad behavior is the norm, and admirable work is the rarity.
It’s no longer enough to be recognized solely for your work. Celebrities feel the need to double their media exposure by acting out their private lives in public.
Perhaps it is time the celebrities to ask the questions.
If they were to ask themselves these questions each day, before they even brush their teeth in the morning, they might fare better in the game of celebrity life. They certainly couldn’t fare worse.
They don’t even have to answer them. It would be a step in the right direction if they just considered the consequences before acting like fools for our benefit.
1. “Is it a good idea to send a text message to a stripper, or leave a cell phone message for a porn star?”
2. “Can that paparazzo’s camera lens reach all the way to this secluded beach where I’m frolicking in the water with someone who’s not my wife?”
3. “Is it OK for me to mix a lot of alcohol with prescription drugs?”
4. “Is it a good idea to drive myself to a Hollywood nightclub surrounded by celebrity photographers when I’m on probation for a DUI?”
5. “Should I date a guy who wrote a tell-all book about his last celebrity girlfriend?”
6. “Is it time to take my plastic surgeon off speed-dial?”
7. “Would it be wrong to adopt a child from another country just for the publicity?”
8. “Should I pick up the phone if caller ID says it’s Tiger, Jesse or John Mayer?”
9. “In the era of camera cell phones, is it smart to dance on a table in a Las Vegas nightclub?”
10. “How would it look if I showed up on the red carpet with Kate Gosselin?”
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