If only people would age with more grace and less whining

Published 4:32 pm Monday, September 24, 2007

Five-year-olds are really into telling you their age. They say their age with pride, claiming the half year if possible. Not since I’ve been to a kindergartner’s birthday have I been surrounded by so many people talking about their age.

The people talking about their age are no longer 5-year-olds. It’s the 40-somethings, 50-somethings, 60-somethings.

Stop all the whining about your age!

All the talk about getting older makes me wonder why this is such a shocking experience.

I have a couple of theories.

Theory one: We are spoiled.

We are so used to having what we want when we want it, we refuse to tolerate aging.

Nobody wants the graying, sagging or slowing down. We will surgically, chemically and instantly reverse whatever the heck our body is doing.

Theory two: We see aging as a foe we must defeat

First we had to run a marathon. Now, anyone can do it. Then we had to top that by doing a triathlon. That was challenging for a few years. But now, you are not really in shape unless you are preparing for your 100-mile run.

Note: That is not a 100-mile bike ride — once that was considered a challenge. Today you have do the 100 miles without shoes on hot coals.

Just kidding about the shoe part, but really, what is next?

Theory three: We are control freaks.

When people are willing to inject poison into their faces, it is clear that we will stop at nothing to pretend we can stop getting older.

Theory four: We have regrets.

There is a point when we come to terms with the dreams we have not yet lived and the reckoning that we may have forgotten to do something very important. Maybe we didn’t see the world, or we didn’t find a partner, or we didn’t have children, or we didn’t go back to school and get a degree.

If people bring up aging to me, I put my theories to the test.

Notes to the 20- and 30- somethings: Don’t do what we are doing. Take a tip from us that all of our talk about getting older is possibly another misguided focus.

Please, keep your attention on issues that are more meaningful. Live a life filled with your dreams. When you get to be our age, continue to aggressively help make the world a better place for someone else.

I hope as you age that your focus continues to stay large and doesn’t shrivel up and wrinkle into something small, irrelevant and forgettable. It is more important that our actions expand with getting older. The people who achieve this are the ones we remember and the ones who lead the way into the future.

It is lovely to meet people in their 80s and 90s. It seems the panic about getting older is over.

It would be really nice to skip all the fretting in the middle and just get on with it gracefully, healthfully and joyfully.

Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island. E-mail her at features@heraldnet.com.