There’s one thing that gets more attention than President Donald Trump’s tweets.
His hair.
That feathery helmet of orange-gold matter swirled atop his head is the topic of cartoons, blogs and social media posts.
How would he look with a different hairdo? What would look good?
The Herald polled local hair experts about The Donald’s famed mane.
Several did not want to comment, saying we’re focusing on little issues when we should be focusing on big issues.
Maybe so, but the American public is faced with that hair for four years, then for centuries to come in portraits, books and maybe even currency.
“Cowlicks” and “combover” were the two buzzwords from the hair pundits.
Experts couldn’t agree whether his hair was real or fake or what color it is or should be. A Vanity Fair article described earlier colors as “Cigar-Stained-Teeth Blonde” and “Burnt-Cheetos Auburn.”
Back then, his eyebrows matched.
Most hair stylists agreed he could benefit from a little off the top and the sides.
Brenda Humbert, owner of The Barber Stop Shop on Evergreen Way in Everett, asked passing motorists before the presidential election to weigh in on Trump’s hair.
“I had a sign out front that said, ‘Honk if I should fix Donald’s hair,’” Humbert said. “Oh, my gosh. It was honkety-honkety-honk. I got people walking in going, ‘I don’t own a car, but honk-honk-honk.’”
Humbert said his hair has improved.
“Somebody introduced the man to toner. The color is much better. It used to be brassy gold and now it’s a toned-down wheat, and I think it’s fine.”
The style needs some work, though.
“He’s got a lot of cowlicks and that’s why he does that weird combover thing,” Humbert said. “That’s why the part goes way so over and he has to do all these things to make it lay down. It’s too long in the back so it sticks out.”
Her cure: “I would make it shorter, so you wouldn’t see any of the cowlicks. Feather the sides, then clean-line it at the ears. Clean-line and taper it down the back. He would have a nice standard banker’s business cut. It would look like a million bucks.”
She fixes a lot of men with a thinning version of Trump-like hair. “They don’t have as much hair,” she said. “They are growing out the same cut as Donald, really really long and combing it over the top and it looks like a piece of bacon.”
Don Baird, owner of Rustic Cuts in south Everett, said he has studied Trump’s hair out of professional curiosity.
“The combover is from the back forward, and he brings it around, tucks it under with hairspray,” Baird said. “He’s got a lot of cowlicks. He has a bad cowlick on the left side and on the right side, if you notice, the hair is cut shorter, and that tells me he has a big ear. One ear is larger than the other.
“I’d give him a Caesar.”
The short, layered cut wouldn’t solve Trump’s ear issues, but it would fix his cowlicks.
The color is something else Baird would remedy.
“I’d change it to gray,” he said. “I don’t think you can improve on nature.”
Kayla Klaiber, manager of Weldon Barber in Mill Creek Town Center, said color would be the first step for the makeover of the epic combover.
“I’d make it less blond and make it more of a natural brown color,” she said. “Make it look so it doesn’t look like its own being. It looks like it’s its own creature, like a cat on top of his head.
“I’d take him a lot tighter on the sides, bring him into the now and make him look more professional. Maybe put a little part in it, and pull it over, add a little gel and make him look clean and orderly.”
Yer Yang, hair stylist at Vision Salon in Lynnwood, wants to man-up Trump in a different way.
“He should try the man bun,” Yang said. “Then try silver hair, really silver hair. It’s what the guys are doing these days. That would make him look really up-to-date.”
It wouldn’t be easy. “I’d have to bleach his hair like three times to get it a nice white, then tone it down with a silver.”
“He should wear a wig,” said Tommy Nguyen, owner of Tommy Barber Nail & Spa in Everett.
He said if Trump sat in his chair, he’d give him a Caesar. “Anyone who comes here is welcome and we do the best we can.”
Sharise Severino, receptionist at The Split End Salon in Mill Creek Town Center, had another idea: “Long, shoulder-length hair with bangs. Hippie like, with a little headband,” she said. “Maybe some braids, as well.”
Andrea Brown: 425-339-3443; abrown@heraldnet.com. Twitter: @reporterbrown.
Trump yourself
Want to see what you’d look like with Trump hair? The “Trump Yo’self” app allows you to see how great you look with a Donald ‘do. Upload a photo of yourself (or your cat or dog). The app by Useless Creations is free, but it will cost you 99 cents to remove the annoying ads. For iOS. More at https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/trump-yoself!-make-your-hair/id1025177870?mt=8.
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